Forming relationships with others is a constant part of our life journey. Whether it’s the bond shared with family, the love shared with a significant other, or having good laughs with friends, relationships are a huge component of who we are. For me, it is what gives my life meaning: having a strong, loving community of people in my life is essential for my happiness and self-growth.Â
But with that being said, some relationships aren’t meant to be in your life forever–a tough truth I’m still learning to accept. There are some people that serve their purpose for a chapter of your life. This is especially prevalent in friendships.
Most people, including myself, have lived in their hometown for most of their early stages of life. So, you see the same people everyday in school, athletics, clubs, around town, etc. You grow up together. When college starts, everyone that you once grew up with begins different life paths. And with the fast-paced society we live in, it can be hard to keep up with everyone. But the right people that are meant to stay, will stay.Â
So what makes a good friendship? A common basis of understanding for relationships is built upon trust, honesty, respect, love, and communication. Those are all great, of course. However, for me, I don’t follow a rule-book when evaluating who is a “good friend” or “bad friend.” To me, friendship can be low-maintenance. You share good times together, support one another, and have mutual efforts in staying connected. With my friends at home, we may not always have the time to constantly stay in touch. But, I know they will be there for me, right back where we were, as soon as I come home. And the same goes for my college friends.
Like I said, some relationships come and go. Sometimes it is a matter of growing up and growing apart. As you grow as an individual, your interests and values may divide you from past relationships. And sometimes, you and that individual are no longer have a healthy, mutual relationship.
In my personal life, there is a friend at home who I feel as though we have grown apart. I don’t often follow strict guidelines of what makes a good friendship, but I can recognize when the relationship is no longer adding to my life but hindering it. People change and not always for the better. In essence, sometimes you have to put yourself first. You know yourself best.Â
Relationships are important. Some are meant to stay and some are not. And that’s okay. The people in your past will always be a part of you. Sometimes, you just have to let go. It can be disheartening, but don’t stress! You will meet so many more people in your life. I heard this quote once and I’ve loved it ever since: “Some of your favorite people haven’t met you yet.”