The title of mom friend–I couldn’t shake it.
I was the sensible and reliable friend all through middle and high school. I was the friend with the emergency supplies, extra period products, and hair ties. I always had extra snacks packed and I was the one who listened when someone needed a friend.
I let people take advantage of my kindness and walk all over me, but that’s how I gained the title of “Mom”.
I loved having a purpose as a friend, but being the mom friend meant I couldn’t be spontaneous. I never wanted to be the friend who hosted parties, but I wanted to have that opportunity if I chose to.
Being the mom friend to my close friends meant also being the mom friend to the younger grades once I was an upperclassman, and I loved playing that big sister role. I don’t have siblings, but I always wanted them. Since I didn’t have a big sister, I became one.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t the one to give advice. I hardly had a social life, and the social life I did have didn’t include dating. My friends often shared their dating stories, but I had nothing to compare them to. I didn’t know how to respond when my friends would talk about the boys they were dating, except to sit and listen.
Now, I have people in my life who know I’m always willing to listen to them, especially when they’re excited about their relationships! I love love! I love hearing about my friends’ partners because their relationships fulfill them. They are whole people outside of their relationships, and that makes me so happy!
Since coming to college, I’ve remained to be more of a homebody, but I don’t mind a party here and there when I’m surrounded by my friends. I’m glad that I’m finding that balance of being a reliable friend who is growing with my friends and learning about myself.
I’m finding that I love being social in small groups, but being in large group settings is overwhelming for me. I’m much happier when I’m drinking kombucha at a party and being the giggly sober friend.
I’m re-energized by alone time, but I love a dance party with friends that appreciate my goofy moves. I’m not as reserved as I once thought I was and that’s a beautiful thing.
I have never laughed harder than when my friends and I are sitting around just chatting on Wednesday night and watching a movie. I’m not a fan of going out, but I’m impressed by the people who do it often. I like being the “responsible” friend who skips down the street listening to music because I am enjoying life.
I’ve learned that when I share the responsibility with friends, it makes it easier to be a good friend. I’m here to help, but I need support as well.
I’m proud of the person I’ve become as I put aside my people-pleasing tendencies. I’m still a little bit of the mom friend, but I’ve learned to be one that lets myself enjoy where I’m at and not put pressure on myself to be perfect.