Stolen from the well-known ‘Dear Abby,’ I decided to instate this in the Bonaventure chapter of Her Campus! Welcome to ‘Dear Claire.’ On the last Friday of every month, be prepared to see some of my unsolicited advice from some sources who choose to remain anonymous. Feel free to email me some anecdotes or questions you have for next month at (fisherck21@bonavenutre.edu)
- “Dear Claire, how do I deal with homesickness at college?”
This is such a great question, with no real perfect answer. I think it really depends on the type of homesickness. Do you miss your childhood room? Your parents? Friends? High school environment? All of these are a little different, but the homesickness I get most manifests as missing my parents. For me, I try to remember that these semesters are never permanent. While it may seem pessimistic to have a countdown until the next break, I find it really helpful sometimes. Most importantly, remember that it is not embarrassing, silly or ‘wrong’ to feel homesick. It may feel like no one else is, but we all are in different ways and degrees.
- “Dear Claire, there’s a boy from home that I have had a crush on for years. The problem is, my best friend is his ex-girlfriend. What should I do?”
I guess the theme of my answers are, ‘it depends.’ Did your best friend and crush date for two weeks in seventh grade? Or was it more like two years during high school/college? I also think the biggest thing that it depends on is why they broke up. Let’s say they break up because, while they love each other, they are much better as friends. I think your crush is fair game as long as you have a discussion about it with your friend. Not to ask for permission, but to at least gauge what she is thinking and have a mature discussion about what this means. Now, if your crush cheated on your best friend, and they broke up when she found out, I’m gonna say the crush is probably off limits then. Personally, I would find it offensive to find a guy attractive who treated me so horribly. However, maybe your friend finds it ok because it was a million years ago. The most important part of my entire answer is to talk with your friend about him if you genuinely want to pursue a relationship with this guy. See how she is feeling about it and then use your best judgment.
- “Dear Claire, I have such a classroom crush on this boy. The problem is one of his friends just started snapping me last week. I don’t want the guy I actually like to think I’m ‘off limits’ because his friend is snapping me. What should I do?”
The key part of this question is ‘classroom crush.’Thinking about someone takes an hour your of your day does not qualify as having an actual crush or having feelings for them. Because of this, there is no harm in his friend snapping you, especially if you are never going to make a move. If you don’t have any desire to snap his friend and you think leaving them on open is a bit harsh, try to casually leave them on delivered for a few days, make the pictures more dry/boring and gradually make your exit.
- “Dear Claire, I’m not getting enough sleep at night. What should I do?”
First, is this a health thing or an environmental thing? Sometimes when I cannot sleep because of my sinuses, I use Breathe Right strips which helps with congestion. More environmentally, I would say to make sure you don’t use your phone an hour before bed, but I don’t know anyone who realistically does that (including myself). Melatonin, calming nature sounds, and or even white or brown noise from Spotify have all been fairly proven to help you fall asleep. Lastly, if I have any bottled up emotions that are making me too stressed to sleep, I try to talk with a friend about it or at least rant it all out in the notes section of my phone. It doesn’t solve the problem but it makes my mind race a lot less.