One day I was on the phone with my older sister and she asked me: “Do you have more feminine or masculine energy?” I paused for a minute not knowing what she intended by the question. Then I hesitated as I proclaimed “feminine.”
She proceeded to ask me why I thought I was more feminine and I responded that I express and present myself in a feminine way. Little did I know, my femininity was deeper than I had ever considered.
The concepts of femininity and masculinity have been looked at forever, through societal roles, cultural norms, and innate dispositions. I have learned that regardless of gender, everyone has a mix of feminine and masculine energy that interact to create harmony in our everyday lives. Usually, one of the energies is dominant.
What are the differences between the two energies?
Masculine energy is characterized by stability and predictability. It thrives on structure, rules and logic. Masculine-dominant individuals are independent, rational thinking, goal-oriented, driven and confident. It is a state of doing rather than being. It is external and giving. When masculine energy becomes imbalanced it can create aggressiveness, control issues and confrontation.
Conversely, feminine energy is a state of being rather than a state of doing. It is internally focused on receiving rather than giving, planning and projectivity. It is not based on sound logic rather it is flowing and dynamic. This side knows how to maintain self-love and care.
It is in touch with feelings, empathy and vulnerability. People with strong feminine energy are calm, creative, and communicate well. When feminine energy is imbalanced it can cause manipulativeness, neediness, over-sensitivity and co-dependency.
What causes a woman to Be masculine Dominant?
Women with strong masculine energy are often in survival mode. They use strength and assertiveness to compartmentalize their emotions and get through difficult times. This could be for a variety of reasons: such as having a lack of feminine role models, experiencing abuse and being let down by men.
Women with too much masculine energy in relationships can be burnt out. They have this internal battle of wanting to protect and be protected. They can be exhausted from planning to meet up, being available for everyone else and seeking the approval of others.
She is so used to giving that she settles for less in relationships because she believes that is all she can get. This is then reinforced in co-dependent relationships where the other individual is enabled by the person who does it all which leaves them with a lack of autonomy.
How did this hit home for me?
When my sister explained it like this the light bulb went off! I had been spending too much energy in the masculine state and my relationships suffered due to the disharmony.
I am the first one to control a situation. I make the decisions when everyone else steps back. I am hyper-independent. I seek to protect and care for others. I feel an aggravating draw to begin every conversation so that everyone feels comfortable.
While these things may not be inherently bad, too much external energy can deplete my more intuitive/feminine side.
I realized that I need to genuinely engage in self-care not just the commercialized, TikTok ad version of it. I need to focus on taking care of my body, nourishing my faith and engaging in mutually gratifying relationships.
This idea led me to questions such as: How am I presenting myself physically? How can I take the pants off in every single relationship? After years of independence, how can I learn to let go?
This makes me think about the type of romantic relationship I want someday. I realized that I wanted to be pursued. I want him to protect me. I want to be taken care of. I want to be led spiritually, emotionally and in a variety of other facets.
How can women tap into their feminine sides?
Prioritizing being amidst doing
Meditation, prayer, relaxation techniques
Switching up your wardrobe/makeup to embrace your feminine form
Getting in touch with your emotions through communication or a creative outlet
Connect with uplifting individuals