Here I find myself waking up to 17 text messages on a Friday morning in a group text message between two of my brothers. Reading it while I was half asleep, I was confused at what the message had said, tears forming in my eyes. I reread the messages over a couple of times to make sure what I was reading was actually in front of my eyes, and yes it for sure was. My brother and his wife were flying to Texas the next day for job interviews, potentially moving down there. The first thing that came to mind was, my brother is obviously moving to Texas; of course they are going to get the jobs; they are great teachers. Sometimes you have a gut feeling and you hope that in some ways it is not true, and this was one of those moments. I guess it had never occurred to me that them moving so far away was ever in the picture, but I was wrong.
When I called my mom to see if she had heard anything about how the interviews went she told me she had some news that she knew that wouldn’t necessarily “thrill me.” It was in this moment that I knew that they would be moving. She told me that my brother was nervous to call me because he knows me all too well and knew exactly how I would react. While I spent that night not getting homework done and sitting in my bed with a major headache because I couldn’t stop thinking, I decided I should think back on the good times that we have had over the past 19 years. We have been very close ever since I can remember. My brother used to pick me up from dance classes when I was younger and sing stupid songs to me in the car that he had made up. He has gone to numerous dance recitals that I am sure he didn’t want to sit through. He has always been there for me whenever I needed him, and I know that this will not change, no matter the distance between us. It is just weird to think that I can no longer hop in my car if I want to visit him and be at his house in two hours. It will now require a long, and of course fun, road trip of approximately one day’s time or a plane ride. These are only a few of the memories that we have collected over the years, with many more to continue.
So this is my letter to you, the one who is moving away, to let you know that I’m okay. We grow up, things change, and that is perfectly normal. It is just a part of life that I would have eventually faced—I just didn’t know that the timing of it was going to be now. Even though I might not seem 100% percent okay with it on the phone, I will be okay. I just need some time to understand that this is now the new reality and that just because you’re moving away doesn’t mean that I won’t see you. Next year when it’s cold as hell here at Bonaventure I’m going to plan a trip to see you over a break. Thank you for loving Taylor Swift as much or even more than I do and for jamming out in the car with me to her music. More importantly thank you for always being there for me, even when I didn’t realize that I needed anyone. I know that moving will bring you both happiness and that is honestly all that a younger sister could ask for. Lastly, thank you for teaching me that change is good, to trust my gut, and to chase after my dreams.
– Forever Your Baby Sister.
“Distance means so little, when someone means so much.”
“Never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting.”
“Standing there at the stage door to the rest of your life. Time to dip your toe into the deep end. Try things. Say hi already. Laugh a lot. Mess up. Apologize. Mess up again. Hug people. Take chances. Trust yourself. Lose things. Get over it. Hold your friends close. Gather your strength. Gain wisdom and beautiful stories. Be brave, and you’ll have the time of your life.”
― Taylor Swift