It’s that time of year again! The feeling that happiness is restored in the world again through the time spent with family and friends coming together to celebrate, where everything feels magical and light, and where everyone celebrates their religious or non-religious traditions.
But- it doesn’t always feel this way.
All the excitement can more often than not bring intense pressure for everyone to make the perfect cookie-cutter Christmas season. With the mad dash of gift shopping and spending, chaotic family dynamics, checklists, the reminder of lost family members, and everything else in between, the holidays can be a time of seasonal depression instead.
The Christmas season has always looked and felt different every year for me and my family, and for the longest time, this has made me have many mixed feelings around the holidays. It has probably been over ten years since I’ve been with my extended family at Christmas, since we all live scattered throughout the US, and so for the holidays, it’s usually just me, my parents, and my sisters.
While I’m completely aware that this is a very normal Christmas, I tend to focus really hard on making everything look perfect, and I used to feel like because our Christmas didn’t look like a Hallmark Christmas movie, we were doing Christmas wrong. Nevertheless, I learned that celebrating Christmas with any family at all is a huge privilege and a gift, no matter what the pressures feel like. After I changed my mindset, I began to love our little Christmases and enjoy all the fun stories that come along with it.
Nostalgia can also play a role in how your holiday spirit mood can be affected. It can either be a friend that kindly reminds you of all the cherished memories with loved ones, or it can be a stab to the chest reminding you everyone is growing up and that those memories are only memories.
For me, nostalgic reminders of growing up always make me feel a little melancholy around Christmastime, especially when I’m reminded how much I believed in the magic of Santa Claus and how much that wonder made my Christmases feel like a dream (thanks Mom and Dad). Since I have younger sisters, I got to enjoy the magic of Santa and our Elf on the Shelf Jessica a little longer than a lot of people, but once they got older and learned the secret too, the magic seemed to die a little more each year.
This brings a lot of seasonal sadness for me and has for years, even when I didn’t realize or understand why I was so sad at such a happy time. I’ve learned that it’s more than okay to feel however you feel around the holidays and that all emotions are valid no matter what they are, and I’ve tried each year to find ways to lighten the time for others, since it brings me more joy to see others excited and happy. Each year, I take a deep breath, take a break from all the holiday craze, and look for another positive way to impact someone else’s Christmas to cancel out some of the sadness.
Remember, it’s more than okay to feel however you feel, and if you are struggling, do not be afraid to reach out to someone for help. Don’t forget though that no matter what there are people out there who love, care and want you to be happy too. So, from the bottom of my heart, have a fantastic holiday season, and remember how loved you are!