As the days inched on, my move-in day was coming closer and closer. At times I was happy and at times I was sad. I was going to miss my mom and my brother. I was going to miss my friends that I made all throughout high school. I vividly remember sitting on my bed crying at midnight because I was scared to move in, scared that I would lose those that matter so much to me in one single day. As time went on, I started to develop more excited feelings. I was moving in and starting a new chapter in my life so soon. Moving in was fun and exciting, but it all led up to the candlelight ceremony.
The final stint to when I would finally become a real college student and leaving that part of my life behind was when my mom left and I was be alone. I was hugging my mom goodbye after the ceremony, blubbering like a baby and scared. I was finally on my own. Something my thirteen-year-old self had always dreamed of was finally here. So why am I holding on? Why won’t I let go? In all honestly, while I thought I was ready to go, I wasn’t. I wasn’t ready to not see my mom and brother every day, to only get to text and call. All my life I had wished for this day to come, and in that moment, I wished it would never end.
Soon, my mom told me I had to go. I needed to start this new chapter. It was needed for me to do so. So, I turned my back, tears streaming down my face, and I walked to my dorm. As I walked into my dorm, my roommate was crying on her bed. It was time to start our new chapter, but why let go of the last one? We finally got the courage to leave our room and meet with others, to accept that the door was finally shutting. We accepted that we were being pushed out whether we wanted it or not.
As the days went on, I started to get involved. I joined a lot of clubs, met more people and hung out with friends. I started hanging out with my best friends at the pavilion on campus at the end of the night. It is the best way to let go of the stress of the day and just laugh until my belly hurts and my face has a permanent smile.
When I go back and see my mom and brother, I do enjoy the time that I spend with them, but I am also yearning to come back. I’m excited to see my friends and to sleep in my dorm room because it’s become my home as much as the one 20 minutes away with my mom and brother. Looking back, I would have never thought I would be feeling this, but when a place is meant for you it will become your home no matter how long you have been there.