You are at university, far from home, and you want to enjoy yourself and make some friends. Classes are difficult and your course load is starting to feel soul crushing; it is time to take a break and have fun! But what if you are not yet twenty-one or the bars are simply not your scene? Let’s talk about going out and the pressure to do so as a major part of college life.
I struggled with this during my first year of college because I, of course, wanted to be included in social happenings. My friends were doing it, and everyone seemed to have a great time. Basically, I had a ton of FOMO.
We are told that socializing and getting to know each other is just as crucial to a successful life as academic achievement. I did not want to miss out on these connections I saw everyone making, but I knew that going out was not yet something I wanted to do. I was still getting accustomed to my new life and while I see nothing wrong with going out (no judgment here!), it is just not my cup of tea.
My staying in started to cause real tension in my life because my friends were making new memories together that I was not a part of, and at times conflicts arose between us because they did not understand my aversion to hitting the town. I was fully supportive of them, my introverted self just preferred what felt safest to me. I did not want to be a hermit, but I could not shake the anxious feelings I had surrounding the whole idea, so I protected my peace, and my friends did not judge me for it.
Instead of feeling guilty or ashamed for not doing what I thought I was “supposed” to do, I found other ways of making memories and having a good time. The first and most obvious is attending house parties, formals, and dorm get-togethers with your friends. Parties are fun ways to meet people in low-pressure situations, given that you go with a group of people that you feel safe with to a location with good vibes.
Another way to break your recluse habits is to plan themed nights with your friends. For example, have a poker night where everyone dresses up to keep things exciting. A second example of this would be a Clue night (murder mystery moment) or really any movie or game night.
The next idea is my favorite, and it is just a group dinner and drinks. This could be done at a casual restaurant, or you and your friends can have a free-for-all at the local corner store, find a cute spot to hang out and chow down.
Some other ideas are watch parties (put on your favorite team’s game in your dorm and invite people to come to watch), PowerPoint presentation night (everyone makes their own PowerPoint slides based on a topic of your choosing- the more niche and ridiculous, the better), Karaoke night, bring your own charcuterie board night (or mukbang night), and extreme sports/ DIY Olympics night (you can get really creative with this one).