Hey, you.
Yes, you, Cassy from 2017-2021. Let’s talk about you and how different things are for you in 2024 and almost 2025.
You do your hair differently.
You have made best friends outside of your hometown.
You started reading books again.
You dropped a few pants sizes.
You met professors and teachers who bring so many ideas and outlooks to the table.
You know how to make lesson plans.
You know how to teach (and there’s still so much to learn! That’s great!)
You aren’t in that relationship anymore.
You still rely heavily on academic validation (working on that), but you no longer worry about thinking if you are the smartest person in the room.
You have new favorite jokes.
You have movies that have bumped up on your favorites list.
You have a newfound purpose.
I realize it is not uncommon to wish you could sit down with your younger self and tell yourself it will be OK. I realize that this commonly flashes across the minds of a lot of people.
But damn it, I truly wish I could sit down with my younger self and tell her that! I want her to know so much more is on the horizon.
I think something that I wholeheartedly struggled with in high school was my identity. I knew what types of movies and shows I liked, I knew what political party I aligned with most and I knew who I wanted my friends to be.
It wasn’t until spring semester sophomore year of college that I truly felt like I was starting to uncover my identity.
Some of my longest friendships had fizzled away due to distance and growing apart as people. I have come to terms with this because it is normal to outgrow people. I was literally outgrowing myself as I was blossoming into this different person in college, so who was I to judge anyone? I know now that it was for the best, and there does not have to be hard feelings.
When I sat in high school classes, I was hard on myself for not being the smartest or most outspoken person in the room. I was constantly thinking about how I was less than because I didn’t know as much about the history of United States political parties than the person sitting next to me.
Now, I enjoy being quiet and listening to others. I don’t know what to say about a topic? Great! I cannot and will not know everything! There is something to be said about quieting down and listening to what those have to say around you on a topic you may not know.
I wish I could tell my junior year self, sitting in chemistry class, that I would continue to excel academically in college. I remember that teacher, with my incorrect answer on a mini whiteboard, paraded around the classroom and mocked me for my mistake. That did not mean I was the least smart in the room.
Today, so much is different. I am both internally and externally changed. I learned to prioritize people, places and things that foster my core beliefs and identity. I have heightened my purpose and confidence in my abilities, all of which is thanks to the good and the bad experiences and everything in between.
Thank you, St. Bonaventure, for giving me the hand I needed to help me become the person I was truly meant to be.