I have been single for around five years now.Ā
This is neither very long nor very short. I know plenty of people who have been single their entire lives and plenty of people who are dating as we speak.
However, the fact of the matter is, I am very aware of the fact that I am single. In high school I was the āmom friend,ā solely because I had a boyfriend, making us the āparentsā of the group. My boyfriend and I dated for two years and, issues aside, the label of boyfriend/girlfriend was stabilizing and comforting.Ā
After being single for five years, I sometimes not only spent some Sunday nights wishing I had a boyfriend, but I noticed my self esteem decreasing when I thought about my relationship status for too long. Iām a Meg March and a Charlotte York, but mostly Iām a Claire Fisher – a hopeless romantic.
- Authorās Note: There is zero reason to be embarrassed about being single, but itās the rawness of what I was feeling. Being taken and being single (and everything in between) are all completely valid relationship statuses! This article is simply a commentary on my journey of āacceptanceā.Ā
I started to wonder: If I am wonderful as my parents and friends tell me I am, why is no one pursuing me? What about me is, at least to a tiny degree, unlovable or at least not noticeable?Ā
Stay with me here.Ā
As a thought exercise, I started to take some time before bed (instead of daydreaming about a future proposal) to list all the reasons I think I would be a ācatchā and all the traits that would make me an ideal partner or somewhat desirable. Here are some of the things I came up with:
- I am very successful. I am the co-president of two dynamic clubs that truly speak to my heartās passion.Ā
- I am very welcoming. I love to incorporate others into my circle and go out of my way to make everyone feel at home in my presence.Ā Some may even describe me as “charming”.
- I am intelligent and mentally stimulating. My grades are wonderful, but even more important, I revel in intellectual conversations such discussing religious allegories or the intersection of politics with the Catholic church.
- I have layers. As much as I love my mind, I also love to have fun with my friends and you definitely will see me at the Burton almost every weekend.Ā
- My looks shouldn’t be the reason I am desirable, but I do have the most gorgeous hazel eyes you ever did see.Ā
As I collected this list in my mind, I slowly felt my self consciousness start to diminish.
These are all things that make me a wonderful friend. They make me a good roommate, co-president, employee and a good person to be around. My unique perspectives in class shouldnāt just catch the eye of my classroom crushes, they should also make me a productive classmate.Ā
I am not just a woman being prepped and bettered for marriage, Iām bettering myself for ME and those who are already around me.Ā
For all you hopeless romantics wondering when itās your turn, it already is. Fall in love with yourself and the life that is already happening to you.Ā