The day my parents announced they were separating has been vividly engraved in my brain. Though I was suspicious early on, the moment was a shock. Imagine you’re in the middle of watching the “Stranger Things” season four finale when you hear your mother say to your younger siblings: “Mommy and Daddy are spending some time apart.” Looking back, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry (I cried). While it was a sad moment, I was not prepared for how much life would change.Â
There were some interesting transitions for sure. Once living in a nice house with my whole family turned to apartment living, random houses within the area, a house in a new town, and even an old doctor’s office… Yes, an old doctor’s office. That was an experience to say the least.Â
There will always be times in my life where I reflect on what my life would’ve been like if they stayed together. Sometimes I miss the family movie nights, home-cooked meals, and the family dynamic. And sometimes I miss not having to pack a backpack every two days to go to the next house. Oftentimes I question what kind of person I’d be and how my perspectives would be differ coming from a different upbringing.Â
I’m not going to know the outcome of these factors, and I’m okay with it. Because, I’m happy they got divorced! Let me elaborate. Of course, I would have loved for my parents to be happily married, but they weren’t happy and staying together wouldn’t have helped me. And besides the fact, I have changed so much, and for the better!
To start, my family can be chaotic, and honestly, it’s fun! I love a little spice and drama in my family (sometimes). I love the double holidays we get. And I love the freedom. But it goes beyond these simple concepts. Every hardship I experienced in my life has made me preserve and grow stronger moving forward.
One quality of myself that stemmed from divorce was independence. I must preface, I have always been independent, but with the divorce, and being the oldest of four siblings, my independence has become one of my favorite qualities. It’s allowed me to be more self-motivated, have goals, do things alone, and solve and work through my problems without the need for others’ company.Â
Another thing the divorce did for me is being able to form my own opinion. Having distance between each of my parents and furthering my individuality allowed me to form my own opinions that were different from those of my parents. Some other factors were having more freedom, adapting to new environments, becoming more responsible, and other qualities like adding more to my humor and being more sociable.
My parents are great but not great for each other. And I’m okay with that. In fact, I’m more than okay with that. I would not be where I am today or who I am today without the divorce. In the past, I never really talked about my parents’ divorce because I didn’t think it affected me, but I was wrong. It changed the entire trajectory of my life for the better. So yes, I am happy my parents are divorced.