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Photo of young brunette woman wearing a backpack and walking down a street alone shot from behind
Photo of young brunette woman wearing a backpack and walking down a street alone shot from behind
Photo by Karel Rakovsky from Picjumbo
Life > Experiences

In My Solitude…And I’m Not Talking Billie Holiday

Grace Hodara
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

Picture this: You walk into a cozy restaurant, ask for a table for one, and ignore the puzzled glance from the hostess. You open a book, sip your coffee, and feel the creeping discomfort of … enjoying yourself?  

Yes, learning to go solo can feel like stepping into an awkward rom-com where you are the only character, but it is a plot twist that pays off. In a world that champions #SquadGoals, embracing the art of doing things alone can seem a little daunting—but it is also a powerful reminder that you are more than enough company. So, if the idea of flying solo scares you, grab your metaphorical parachute (or just another coffee) and let us dive into why doing things on your own might just be the most fulfilling adventure yet. 

Over the summer, I was lucky enough to study abroad in Sorrento, Italy for five weeks. Although, one catch from this experience is that I really did not know anyone I was going on the trip with. I knew that when I applied, none of my close friends would be joining me – a terrifying fate at the time that I would eventually overcome.  

Taking the leap to travel 4,500 miles overseas by myself prompted some heavy emotions of homesickness and insecurity. But what it also gave me was the opportunity to become comfortable with my solitude and going out to do things alone.  

I learned to take this task one step at a time – like a sort-of immersion therapy. Each time I would become comfortable with an activity, I would venture out and push myself beyond my comfort zone a little more.  

I started with going for walks alone. I used to feel a bit self-conscious going for walks alone. Like everyone I passed noticed I did not have company. But after a while, I started to notice how freeing it was. Walking alone became a small escape, a chance to be with my own thoughts without distractions or obligations to fill the silence. I did not need to keep up a conversation or match anyone’s pace; I could just be. Gradually, I realized that being comfortable on these walks was teaching me how to be comfortable doing other things on my own too. 

Then I moved onto grabbing coffee/sitting in public alone. To be honest, Italy was probably one of the best places to learn how to do this because of how important “la dolce far niente” lifestyle is in their culture. Given that, I still fully encourage you to try this yourself. You do not have to be visiting another country to become comfortable with engaging in solo activities.  

During these solitary outings, I would step back from the chaos and hustle of the world around me and live life at a slower pace – not racing the clock or feeling like a hamster in a wheel. This allowed me to notice more of the beauty encapsulated by the city of Sorrento and the people that surrounded me. Heck, I even started to enjoy outings in my solitude.  

In stepping out of our comfort zones and learning to embrace solo experiences, we discover a new layer of resilience and self-assurance. The fear of the unknown or of being alone starts to fade, replaced by a sense of independence and self-reliance. When we push beyond the familiar, we unlock new skills, passions, and insights about ourselves that might have remained hidden otherwise. And while being comfortable alone can seem challenging, it teaches us that we are fully capable of thriving on our own terms.  

So, whether it is taking yourself on a solo trip, going to a movie alone, or starting a new hobby, remember that every step you take outside your comfort zone is a step toward becoming a fuller, more confident version of yourself. Embrace it—you might just surprise yourself. 

Grace Hodara is a sophomore Journalism major from Salamanca, New York. Outside of her studies, she is involved with Study Sorrento SBU, Jandoli Women in Communication, and SBU Women’s Club Lacrosse. You can find Grace playing some kind of sport (usually lacrosse or soccer), watching Bills games, listening to music (her music taste is perfectly summed up by that picture of Taylor Swift and 21 Savage at the 2024 Grammys), or traveling (being home for more than 2 weeks at a time is not exactly her strong-suit). She is an avid reader and writer, and is excited to continue working with Her Campus SBU!