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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

The ‘hater’ mentality has taken over the world, and I’m sick of it. Have I been known to hold a grudge, or strongly dislike someone based on experiences I’ve had with them? Yes. No one is perfect. But that is not what I am referring to. It seems like every time I get on the internet or overhear a conversation, someone is always complaining about something, saying, “not to be a hater but..”, and the phrase is getting a little exhausting to hear.

There already is so much negativity pushed down our throats. It seems there is natural disaster after natural disaster, multiple countries are at war with each other, economic crises, student debt, rights on the line in the up-coming election and so on and so forth. So, if all of this doom and gloom is going on in the world around us, it may seem like the thing to do to submit to the overall unhappy atmosphere and become a hater. I am here to argue against that.

So many bad things are out of our control that one of the only ways we can take back some of that control is to try and find a positive outlook within it. Constantly having bad feelings weighing on your mind and heart will take the energy out of you.

I never will understand how some people will make such stark decisions on something based on so little, but that seems the norm these days. Whatever happened to being indifferent?

I will give the example of extreme fans of music artists. Recently, I saw a man discussing on social media how he really didn’t care for Chappel Roan’s music. He just didn’t get the appeal. Instead of people saying that it was okay to have differing opinions on topics such as music, there were people in his comments bombarding him with shame that he would think such a thing.

Life and how we indulge in it has become such a “black and white” thing. If you are not for something, you are against it. But that is not how it is meant to be! You do not have to have an opinion on everything. I think that is part of the problem of the ‘hater’ demographic.

When something becomes very popular, for example Chapple Roan’s music, everyone scrambles to have a take on it. Hot takes supposedly make great conversation, and being a ‘hater’ is the most ‘hot’ of them all. But in the process of trying to be different, you are falling into the trap of being like everyone else, choosing a side.

Instead of taking on the nasty burden of hating on something simply for the fact that you have to have an opinion on it, first think about if what you are trying to take a stance on is actually interesting to you. If I don’t really listen to country music, why would I form an opinion on Zach Bryan and Brianna Chickenfry? That’s the beauty of it, I don’t! It saves me a whole lot of trouble too and saves up the energy for me to actually care about things I want to, instead of trivial matters.

All in all, what I’m trying to say is it is far to exhausting to care about everything that you hear about. If it directly affects you or piques your interest, than absolutely form your opinions. But if you really could care less, then don’t even bother trying, and especially don’t fall into the trap of saying you don’t like something or someone because you know little about it. You’re lying to yourself and others.

And when it comes to people, be especially careful who you choose to ‘hate.’ Because we’re all just people trying to get by, and at the end of the day, we could all use a little extra grace.

Jessica Wikander is a second year member of the Her Campus chapter at St. Bonaventure University, and loves to write about topics such as movies, books, music, and so much more. She is also always looking to get more involved in the world of writing, editing and journalism in and outside of school. Jessica is a sophomore at St. Bonaventure University and is a strategic communication and literary publishing & editing double major. Along with Her Campus, she has joined other on campus media outlets such as The Buzz, the campus radio station; and the BonaVenture, the campus newspaper. She also is a part of SBU for Equality and the Jandoli School Women in Communications group. Back home, Jessica works at her local public library where she has grown to love being surrounded by people who shared the same love of books and writing as her. On her own time, Jessica enjoys reading. She is a lover of classic literature, fantasy, and literary fiction. She also loves to crochet and is trying to learn how to knit. A comfort show of hers is New Girl, and is an avid period drama watcher and enthusiast. She is open to any discussions on her favorite pieces of media and is always looking for new recommendations of things to watch or read.