Y’all, it’s official: my FIRST EVER Spotify Wrapped was released this week! For context, I was a die-hard Apple Music girlie for years (my family was too large for a family plan, so guess which child didn’t get added? Hint: it was me). But my raging FOMO eventually stirred me to make the switch to Spotify after years of not having a Spotify Wrapped to post to my Instagram story (let’s be real, the Apple Music version is just not the same, and as an ex-Apple Music user, I am allowed to diss on it).Â
Unfortunately, I do not listen to music the same way that most people do (the normal way). No, no, no. I am the kind of person to have literally one or two songs on repeat for days on end or until the next song victim reveals itself. Just by looking at my wrapped I can tell you exactly what songs made a particular artist jump to my top 5. So, in reality, my wrapped probably doesn’t accurately reflect my year-long music taste, more like my top five most-obsessively-listened-to songs.Â
My top artist, not surprisingly, was Zach Bryan, and, not to brag, I was a top 2% fan (Zach, please notice me). It also came as no surprise that my top song was “I Remember Everything (featuring Kacey Musgraves)”, as it is probably my second-favorite song of all time, if not tied with my first, which, if you’ve read any of my previous articles, you may know is “Cigarette Daydreams” by Cage The Elephant. My second-favorite Zach Bryan song clinched the third spot in my top songs, “Dawns (featuring Maggie Rogers)”.Â
Of course, despite all the anxiety and excitement I felt to post my wrapped, I lowkey cannot reveal my next top artist to social media. But, for you my lovely reader, I will let you in on the secret. I really don’t even know how this is possible, but my second top artist was….
The Glee Cast.Â
Listen, I love “Glee” as much as the next person, but I swear I do NOT listen to that much Glee music. Like, I promise. Please believe me.Â
I will not be accepting any questions or comments at this time.Â
Moving on! My third artist was revealed to be The Weeknd! Yay! Someone cool! And not embarrassing! Though none of his own songs made my top five, Swedish House Mafia’s “Moth To A Flame,” featuring The Weeknd, took spot number five, because that song eats. Devours, actually.Â
Number four is also a little strange. Morgan Wallen somehow snubbed this spot from Lana, who took the fifth and final spot on my top artist podium. Like, I love country music, and yeah, I won’t deny that I think Morgan Wallen has some bangers. “7 Summers Ago”? Banger. “Spin You Around (1/24)”? Banger. “Everything I Love”? Banger! I don’t know, I was still shocked to see him anywhere on my wrapped, but maybe I just listened to more of his music than I thought. At least it’s not something as equally bad as the Glee Cast (guys I actually can’t get over that).Â
And, as I spoiled above, Queen Lana Del Rey (all hail), clinched the last spot on my wrapped, and “Summertime Sadness” took spot number two in my top song podium (my favorite Lana song)! But, as I write this, I just rediscovered “Lust for Life (with The Weeknd)”, and I fear my life has changed forever.Â
Finally, my fourth top song was “Never in My Wildest Dreams” by Dan Auerbach, the lead singer of The Black Keys. This is so seriously going to be my first dance song at my wedding, but I’m done gatekeeping because songs like this deserve to be shared.Â
Anyways, thank you Spotify, and you’re welcome for the 38,585 minutes I spent on your app.Â