“Don’t be a follower be a leader!”
But what if you never desired to be the first one to do something? The first one to make something incredible or discover a new landmark? Or even worse the first one to fail? I am the first in my family to attend college, the first to go through the tricky progress of financial aid. Also, the first to endure the stress of a college application. Not having someone else to guide me was terrifying, I would find myself constantly asking “Am I doing this right?”
I’m no expert on how to navigate life and I don’t think anyone is expecting me to be. However, the pressure to perform is real and it’s even harder when you don’t have someone backing you up. It was scary to take the leap of faith and convince myself that what I was doing was what I wanted to do. It took a lot for me to even get comfortable with the idea of doing anything but what I was doing in high school.
Throughout the years I have grown to understand you won’t change if you don’t allow yourself to do so. For a while I would avoid situations that might be uncomfortable. Whether it’s a big life changing event or a simple ice breaker I have always been non confrontational. As I let opportunities go by, I begin to realize if I don’t put myself out there, I will stay the same.
I have found myself losing that mindset when I started my college career. I saw myself as the anxious third grader who couldn’t speak all over again. But why?  Despite all the uncertainty I had finally made it to the next chapter in my life. I realized that this is the uncomfortable part, the part I had avoided all summer – actually my whole life. Becoming independent meeting new people and accepting that this is the start of something new and I was the first in my family to do it.
In a way I am a leader now even if no ones following me. I’m a leader for my little sister who in four short years will be in my position. I’m a leader for my past self, which never would have believed in the stuff she has accomplished today. So, I will get comfortable with being uncomfortable because I’m the person at the front of the line, the person who will make the best out of the four years she has and make it even better than before.