I have learned quite a few lessons in my 10 months at college. I’ve been fortunate enough to find good friends, and I’ve started to feel like this is the school where I belong. However, I haven’t felt that way since I first got here like a lot of my friends did. There were points I considered transferring because I just wasn’t feeling the connection I’d hoped for. Once I made some changes in my life here, I was a lot happier and found some compelling reasons to stay. If you’re an incoming freshman or someone who’s already in college and thinking of transferring, here are some things that helped me make my decision to stay and find happiness.
Do Not choose a Random Roommate
Not to place blame on one particular person, but having a random roommate is the biggest reason I almost transferred first semester. I’ve mentioned in a few articles in the past that I had a terrible experience with my first roommate. Some people just don’t click, and that’s that. It’s very rare that having a random roommate goes well. There are some success stories, but I don’t think it’s worth the risk. If you’re meant to be friends with someone, it will happen naturally. Unless you make a huge effort to get to know the person you’re living with and find out who they are, you never really know who you’re moving in with. It’s a way better idea to become friends with someone before rooming with them to see what kind of person you are, and see if your personalities and lifestyles are compatible for living in a shoebox together.
Find a Good Friend Group
The friends you find will make or break your ability to enjoy college. During my first semester, I made one really good friend and a couple friends I was not super close with. Then my one really good friend transferred to another school. After I was able to get a new roommate the second semester, I was able to get out of my room more and make some better friends. I have been so thankful for the friends I’ve been able to make. Surrounding myself with confident, smart women has made me more confident and feel like I belong at this school. Having friends to rely on for the good and bad days is a super important factor of your college experience. Your parents can’t be with you all the time anymore. It’s good to have support systems that not only live near you but know exactly what you’re going through.
Build Good Relationships with your Teachers and Advisor
Make. These. Connections. Professors have been such a key resource for my academic success this year. Making friends out of professors has helped me not only succeed in classes, but also professionally. I’ve been provided with some really cool opportunities, like studying abroad or an internship at a newspaper. Professors want to help you; it’s their job. Talking with them ahead of time and creating a good relationship with them will most likely make them more lenient with grading or late assignments. Having these extra friends with a lot more life experiences than you can help get you out of some bad situations or gain a new perspective on something your dealing with. Don’t neglect these relationships.
Distinguish Friends from Drinking Buddies
All these tips are important, but this one could save your life. Drinking buddies are fun to have when you’re drinking. But other than that, they aren’t the most reliable. Real friends will be there when serious stuff goes down. But friends you only drink with don’t really care that much about your well-being. Making this distinction early on will save you from fake friends and unstable relationships. Think about some of the friends you drink with: could you have a normal conversation with them if you were sober? Probably not. Make sure you know which friends are which, so you know who to call when you need them.
You’re not in High School Anymore
I know it can be hard to let old habits die, but you must remember where you are now. High school is a thing of the past which means so is high school behavior. Gone are the days of spreading gossip and creating drama for no reason. College is about growing up and becoming an adult. No one wants to hang out with you if are hanging onto your high school days or high school behavior. Even if you had a great time in high school, college is a time to make new memories. Stop bringing up your high school parties or sports teams. No one cares and no one wants to hear about it.
Advocate
Advocating for yourself is so important. My mom tells me to do this all the time, and sometimes I don’t. It can be hard to ask those in a position of authority for something you want, but it is possible. You’re working hard (and paying a lot) for your education and to start an education, so don’t let yourself be taken advantage of. It takes courage, but it really is asking for a grade to be changed or for clarification of something. It will help your career and courage now and in the future.