Some may call it overthinking, I call it overflowing.
I think all the time. I never stop thinking. Even when I sleep, my mind continues to run. I have some insane dreams (all my friends know the crazy stories my brain somehow creates).
All the feelings and situations from the day repeat themselves when I have a moment to myself. I re-think everything closely. That is where I can see the burden of thinking. It may take a few days for a situation to spiral out of my mind. I think about everything from the water I accidentally dumped on a kid to how I worded something weirdly in class to my attitude towards the people I love.
Think of trying to clean out a glass of deep red cranberry juice. Put it under the faucet and just let the water run. It will take so long for the liquid in that glass to turn back to clear water. That is my mind filtering out thoughts.
My thoughts somehow simultaneously attack me and gift me. However, I think the gift of my thoughts outweigh the burden they have on me. I would rather have every thought and feeling than none at all. I perseverate on the embarrassing and anxious points of my day, but I also hold deeply onto the beautiful and enlightening points of my life and future.
I dream big. I fantasize and romanticize my life before I go to bed. I dream of seeing the entirety of our earth, the architecture of Santorini, Greece, the waters on the Amalfi Coast in Italy, and the hot air balloons in Cappadocia, Turkey. I am everywhere all at once.
I am a visual thinker and let stories play in my mind. As I sit here next to my roommate Makayla I ask her “when you think, is it just words or pictures?” She ponders, but quickly says pictures. I am so glad she said this because we get to talking about how we fantasize. We don’t understand how some people do not make up their own “pre-dreams” as she calls it. We laugh about how we skip to the climax right away without setting the background of the story first. We love to make up our own movies in our heads.
My deep thoughts generate my creative, imaginative mind. That’s why I write. I can express every thought, opinion, and emotion I have. I can release my compacted thoughts. I am driven and have big dreams. I am hopeful and mindful in life.
So, here, I open my brain and allow it to overflow.