I am consistently plagued by the false reality in which women often find themselves being sorted into. One where they are crazy, unreasonable, mad.
I also consistently believe that songs are situational.
In my head, these things can be intertwined so easily, especially when you have powerful women opening up about this unfair, vicious cycle of being turned into a male-perceived “monster”, and then being shamed for taking the shape that was simply in bold, blueprint format by the same men.
Amongst many songs, “mad woman” by Taylor Swift perfectly encapsulates this.
Each line is a direct correlation to the bigger picture I am discussing, one that, just as any other woman, Taylor knows all too well. See what I did there?
Let me take you on a deep dive. My furiousness compels me.
“What did you think I’d say to that?” Seriously, are we simply meant to sit and wear it with a grin? Every comment, “joke”, accusation? It should come as no surprise that ignorance creates resistance, and yet some men are so shocked at it.
“Every time you call me crazy, I get more crazy, what about that? And when you say I seem angry I get more angry.” Don’t paint the picture if you don’t want the framed artwork placed in your hand. Believe it or not, calling a perfectly sane woman who is just standing up for herself crazy or angry, will probably make her crazy and angry.
“There’s nothing like a mad woman, what a shame she went mad.” It’s always such a shame that it happened, but never such a shame what caused it. Think of your ex discussing with “the boys” how it is such a shame you turned out the way you did, despite the fact the way you “turned out” was probably rooted in your fight or flight mechanism and also 100% his doing. “It’s such a shame she is so mad at the world”, WHO CREATED THAT?
“And you poke that bear till her claws come out, and you find something to wrap your noose around.” Tight-roping across the line and then getting mad someone isn’t eager to pull you up once you’ve finally fallen off. Testing the limits, and then realizing the limit is not enjoyable at all, but why should it be? It’s almost like some men love making women experience great lengths of emotional torment, just so they can have another bad thing to say about her, another match to the flame of weaponized masculinity. Also, Salem Witch Trial reference. Women have to be the scapegoat for whatever the “top dogs” don’t like. Why recognize blame in oneself when you can just blame it on someone you know will just be ridiculed if they dare contest it?
“Women like hunting witches too, doing your dirtiest work for you.” Not only does this dilemma make men hateful towards women but makes WOMEN HATEFUL TOWARDS WOMEN! Today’s “pick me girl” was the 1600s Salem woman who ruled another woman a witch just to gain the approval of her unloving husband. It genuinely pains me when women find joy in condoning and influencing the mistreatment and misrepresentation of other women.
“She should be mad, should be scathing like me, but no one likes a mad woman.” Just like the last line, it is just as painful when you watch someone settle in a calculated state of content just because they fear being the next target. It all circles back. Make woman mad –> Get mad that she is mad –> Force her into a fear-influenced mentality in which she will never get mad again –> Create women that take this mentality a further level by remaining complacent in similar situations geared against the fraction of fellow women that were brave enough to break this circle –> Repeat until the end of time.
If you take anything away from this, don’t let yourself be limited to a world where a man (or multiple, or even misunderstanding women) can subject you to feeling “crazy” or “mad” without taking any of the responsibility. Feel what you feel. Stick up for yourself. I see you.