Normalize… or Denormalize?

While some of these may be considered ‘hot takes’ here some things I think we should universally accept versus… one’s it may be time to get rid of.

NORMALIZE:

• Replacing ‘I’m sorry’ with ‘thank you’: Let’s start with the fact that this is NOT a ‘Claire original’ idea. However, I’m a sensitive girl, always scared of people being upset with me. I chronically apologize. It annoys EVERYONE, including myself. My mom has started to train me in reframing my sentences. It is easier said than done, but I’m trying. Here are a few examples: sorry I’m late, versus, thank you for waiting. Or: I’m sorry I had a typo in that presentation, versus, thank you so much for catching that for me! It takes practice. Disclaimer: this does not work is every situation. If you’re actually being a mean person, apologize. 

• Saying ‘I love you’ way too early: I’m a feeler. That includes love. When I know I love my friends, I want to tell them! ASAP! Say it early and often (just like voting). I don’t think that there is a “right” time to say the three magic words in a relationship either. When you know, you know. If it’s right, even if they aren’t ready to say it back, you still should. I love love!

• Napping at 5 p.m.: Maybe I have an iron deficiency. Regardless, I have recently been going through a serious 5 p.m. slump. I’ve always had this slow down that comes from female hormones, but ever since Daylight Savings, it’s become way worse. I know because of my REM cycles, I can’t really take a nap at 5, whether or not I have the time, but my bed looks most appealing at that time of day. 

DENORMALIZE:

• TMI: Too much information? I just don’t believe in it. Tell me EVERYTHING. I’m not even looking for gossip, but if you want to rant about your period, show me your tonsil stones or talk about extreme grief, I’m there. I’m a girl’s girl. There is almost nothing that can be deemed too much information for me. It’s time to get rid of that term. Author’s note: this does not apply for those in ‘teacher’ positions. Don’t act inappropriate about things like you’re dating life, especially if you are in a mentor role.

• Weird email habits: If you do not have good online rapport, that is no longer classy. STOP replying all when it is irrelevant or just to say “thanks!”. I almost get it if you want to encourage others to respond, but if you reply all without intention, it comes across as spam. Do not email me at weird times of the night, rather schedule send for the morning. Do not email me with a wimpy, or too long, email signature. Do not email me with my name spelled wrong (when you literally have it in my email address). Up your Outlook game, it’s time. 

• Situationships: Call me old fashioned, but either we are together, or we are NOT together. I hate “talking” and this whole ‘in-between’ 21st century dating scene. If you are going on dates, then you’re dating! If you have been on dates and are now “steady”, you are in a relationship. I think this keeps it much simpler! I feel the same with breaks. Either you are together, or not together.

• Tardiness: Everyone has been late somewhere. Your phone dies, you can’t find a parking spot, etc. It happens. However, chronic lateness is the epitome of rude and annoying. It’s not quirky anymore, you’re grown. Coming to class 15 minutes late EVERY DAY is not okay, I don’t care how boring the class is. 

• apoligize
• chronic
• emails
• lateness
• napping
• normalize
• tmi