“Goddess” by Laufey has been on repeat in my brain and on my Spotify for the last couple months. This song was introduced to me through this semesters’ Dance Team show as it’s a song for the advanced contemporary dance. I have recently started to relate to this song while falling in love with Laufey herself as an artist.
“Goddess” is about how Laufey is being treated differently based on whether she’s performing on stage or alone with a man, but doesn’t want to be treated differently.
Lyrics like “Were you surprised by me. When you took me home? When the glamour wore off. Reduced to skin and bone” represent this well.
In my recent dating experience I have been showered in compliments by men when I am dressed up but then radio silence when I decide to go no-makeup for a day. It makes me feel that I always have to dress up for positive male attention.
Why should I?
I’m a girl that only puts on makeup or dresses up when she needs to. I will never be one to do full glam everyday, especially to capture the male gaze. I don’t see a point in it on a personal level. I don’t dress in cute outfits daily and don’t feel that the makeup goes with it. I’ll do mascara and highlighter in the corners of my eyes at most — maybe a little lipgloss.
No hate to anyone that does full glam every day, you eat, and I wish I had the mentality to do so.
But it’s the matter of fact when I do my makeup. I am treated so much differently by men. It’s a door to attention I normally don’t receive. When I continue to communicate with them, it starts this cycle.
John Doe replayed your snap.
John Doe saved your snap in chat.
New snap from John Doe.
This cycle breaks when I pull out a makeup wipe.
It’s exhausting how much effort it takes to keep men’s attention. The constant posing and glam for a minimal effort response. It’s invalidating and frustrating. It makes me feel like an object and not a person.
Then he doesn’t respond and the anxiety kicks in. A downward spiral of emotions until the notification that he responded appears on your phone — and so does the glam.
This is a routine I’m trying to break. I should be loved and adored because I’m me. Every dark circle, blemish, and short eyelash should be embraced and not hidden for male attention.
I’m not your goddess, I’m a human.