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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

I’m choosing to use my writing this week to share a lesson I have quickly come to learn this semester: everyone has stuff going on. 

I could use these 400-some words to talk about all of the plates that I am so desperately trying to balance these first few weeks of school, but I think that taking some time to remind myself and the people reading this that we should stop comparing how thin we’ve spread ourselves and instead all give each other a little bit of grace and trust. Each person has their own limit to what makes them feel overwhelmed and coping mechanisms for stress are different for every situation and individual. 

When someone you know expresses their stress this time of year, don’t compare your schedule to theirs or judge them for complaining when you might be “doing more.” Take the time to stop and think about what other people might have going on right now that you don’t see.

School

While the early weeks of the semester are thought to be “easy” because you are just beginning to transition into a period of homework, quizzes, presentations, etc., don’t discount the stress that comes with having a new schedule, unfamiliar professors, and large groups of peers that you may not know or have worked with before. The beginning stages of every semester are filled with unknowns, which for many, are an intense source of anxiety. 

Clubs

I think the most common piece of advice I was given when I started college was to get involved. No matter how much I join, it seems I haven’t done enough. I started a sport but I didn’t join the student government; I work a job but I don’t volunteer in my free time. 

No matter what you do (or don’t do), clubs eat up time in your day and joining a new activity is scary. You’re unsure of your abilities within the club or team, you may not know anyone else in the group, you have extra responsibilities and don’t want to let anyone else down. Even the most basic member of an organization has to do something to remain a part of the club, so don’t underestimate the stress that clubs or teams on campus can cause someone, new or not. 

Jobs

Many students on campus work a part-time job outside of school to help pay for their expenses. Regardless if your job or internship itself are not that stressful, taking any time away from being in school can cause a ton of anxiety when it comes to time management and making sure you are fulfilling all your responsibilities as both an employee and a college student. Even if you are working just a couple hours a week, you are doing what many cannot. Pat yourself on the back – you’re doing amazing.

Social Life

Even if you’re not one to go out on the town on weekends, making sure you are setting aside time to be with friends, family, or partners is not only something everyone wants to do, but something everyone should do. However, if you have a packed schedule or you’re just feeling like you are so overwhelmed that you can’t even be yourself around the people that care about you, you may start to feel like you are failing in your relationships. This can feel especially true when everyone else around you seems to have enough time for everything, and you are struggling to even make it to bed at a reasonable hour. 

Just make sure to surround yourself with people who really care about you and not just the amount of hours you can put into your friendship. Be open and honest with those you love! The ones who understand and trust you are the only ones you should be keeping around.

To all my readers: you’ve got this. Don’t compare what makes you stressed out to anyone else. Every person has a different-size bag and their own things to fit in it. 

Try to take some time every week, even if it’s one hour on a Saturday afternoon, to do something for yourself. Lay down, read a book, take an extra long shower, go on a walk or simply just watch a show you’ve been needing to catch up on. 

Learning to not compare what I have to others has helped me focus on myself and my own stuff, which is all that matters in the first place. We should be here to listen and cheer each other on, not bring our friends down for worrying about one paper when you have three due. 

Let’s have a productive semester, Bonaventure. We can do this, no matter what your “this” is!

Riley Connors is a member of the St. Bonaventure chapter of Her Campus and plans to write about college, careers, movies and just about anything that comes to her mind that week. She is a senior Adolescent Education and English double major. Outside of Her Campus, Riley is a member of the SBU Dance Team and is a part of SBU College Democrats. She also has a radio show with her roommates on St. Bonaventure's radio station, WSBU-FM. In her free time, Riley enjoys hanging out with her friends and girlfriend, spending time outside in the sun and listening to any song by Boygenius, Hozier or Lizzy McAlpine. She cherishes her time spent at home with her family and dog but loves her St. Bonaventure family that she has created in her three years of college.