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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

I was someone who looked forward to college their whole life. I spent so much time dreaming about independence and alone time; I knew I wanted to go far from home. 

I remember looking at my bedroom one last time the morning before making the 13 hour drive down to my college. I thought about all the nights my sister and I spent binging a show, the nights my friends and I got no sleep gossiping for hours, the nights I stared at the ceiling anticipating the feeling of finally being in college. I was excited to leave those memories behind and create new ones. 

I got to college and looked at my new bedroom for the first time. Seeing the blank walls, monotone color and most importantly, the complete silence. It was entirely daunting. My first night at college, I found myself thinking back to my “old life.” It felt so weird to imagine the routine I once had as something of the past. For the first time in my life, I was reminiscing about the past instead of anticipating the future.

The next week was full of constant anxiety, dread and fear. I felt my confidence in my ability to live alone slowly waning. I had made friends, but all I could think about were my friends back at home. I was in new classes, but all I could think about were my high school classes. I called my parents numerous times a day, but all I could think about was them actually being there to comfort me. 

Then one morning I woke up without a racing heart. I recalled the night before when my new friends and I spent hours in my room gossiping about our lives and the futures we are excited to achieve. The following night—after tons of homework of course—my friends and I started ‘Too Hot to Handle.’ Binging the show has now become a ritual, not just for us, but our entire floor. Now, my nights are spent in a new type of anticipation—anticipating the next time I get to see my family.

After the hardest week of my life, everything started to fix itself. A new chapter doesn’t mean everything before it gets erased. I flip the page back and still get to enjoy all the things I’ve enjoyed my whole life—except now with new friends who I hope to keep for the rest of my life. I still miss my family, but in a way that doesn’t stop me from living my current life to the fullest. 

I found a new show to binge, new people to gossip with and new expectations to have. In just three short weeks I’ve learned one of the biggest lessons of my life that I want to share with everyone I know: New is scary, but new doesn’t mean forgetting the past. New is friendship. New is fun. New is learning to be your best self even when new seems like your worst nightmare.

Rhea Sarkaria is a new member of the St. Bonaventure University Her Campus chapter. Rhea is from Cary, North Carolina and is studying Biology at SBU. She plans to attend medical school in the future. In her free time, she enjoys spending time with her friends and family, going shopping, and is always down to try somewhere new to eat. She is also a huge Dr. Pepper and Bollywood movie fanatic. Outside of Her Campus, Rhea is a part of SBU Asian Students in Action and SBU ASBMB. In the past, she has done a lot of volunteering in the healthcare field. This includes working as a nursing aide at a nursing home, volunteering in the surgery department of a local hospital in NC, and working with a non-profit serving patients without insurance.