I will be the first to admit that I have some unhealthy coping mechanisms. One that I am currently trying to combat is business. See, in the eyes of a world that never slows down productivity is praised and rest is seen as lazy. Those who climb to the top of the ladder in life are the ones who never stop working. But at what cost?
I live in a cycle of doing so much until I burn out and then I crash and do it all over again. I spread myself so thin trying to help other people, excel at school, and work that I do not give myself time to rest. To evaluate this issue I had to be real with myself and get to the root of the issue.
I realized that I keep so busy because I am too scared to slow down enough to sit with my emotions. I also do not make myself a priority. I read something on Pinterest that said instead of saying “I don’t have time” try saying “It’s not a priority” and see how it feels. If the phrases don’t sit well, that’s the point. Changing our language reminds us that time is a choice. For me, Instead of saying I don’t have time for myself, I replaced that with I am not a priority and that did not feel right.
Next, I actually had to define what rest actually means for me. I am still struggling with this because I have trained myself to stay busy every second of the day. Rest does not just mean sleep. Things like listening to music, taking a walk, praying, meditation, and journaling are some of the things that are restful to me.
Being in tune with my body and my emotions is been something I have also been working on. I have been checking in with myself throughout the day to see how I am feeling physically and mentally and letting myself do what I need to regulate these physical and mental states in a healthy manner.
Implementing them into my daily life can be difficult. I know myself and If I am not intentional with scheduling rest I will not do it because that is not a habit right now. Therefore, I have been putting specific times and activities in my Outlook calendar so that I actually keep myself accountable.
Self-reflection is not easy. It is much easier to sit in the cycle I am already in. However, it is not helping me let alone anyone else to be burnt out all of the time. I really want to work on me for me. I deserve to prioritize myself and rest.