Although college is one of the most rewarding times of my life so far, this new school year has been one of the toughest for me. I have had to go through tough times that truly test my strength as a person that looks for light in everything that happens. The last three months have been a rollercoaster of ups and downs. I know that life is bound to have challenges, but it seemed as if I was never going to escape it.
I am forever grateful to have the support system that I do. I have best friends and a family who truly love and care about me. I know the past couple of months would have been way worse if I did not have them. But sometimes no matter how many people you have that care about you, tough times will still come and make you feel more alone than ever.
The thing about going through difficult struggles is that if you are the typically happy and positive person in front of people no one will realize what is actually happening to you deep down. Ever since I was little, I was known to be such an emotional girl. And as I got older this never really went away until it started negatively impacting my relationships. One day I started to bottle up how I felt and never really took time to process the emotions I was feeling.
A month ago, I had just gone to the gym. After this I was taking a cool down walk at 9 p.m. before walking back to my dorm. I had just had one of the worst days of my life and felt at an all-time low. While walking, I looked up and stared at the moon. I found comfort in the fact that someone else looking at the moon could also be feeling the same way as me. It made me feel less alone in my inner struggle.
This thrust me forward into realizing that even if you cannot let the people in your personal life in on your struggle, there will always be another person who does feel the same way as you. And although you will never know that person, they will always have a heavy presence when looking up at the night sky.
I have come to the conclusion that sometimes you will have on-going problems but every day dealing with them will come a little easier than it did the day before. Today I am doing better than I was just last month. Life has not gotten completely easier, but I am dealing with it in a better mindset than before. I know this will not be a permanent struggle for me and I have hope for the end of it in the future.
The one thing that I do know is that no matter what life will put me through next, I will always be able to look at the moon and know that someone else can relate.