When I was a little girl, all I could do was fantasize about becoming a grown up. I could not wait until the time came when I could do my makeup every morning, sport heels every day, wear fancy, sophisticated clothes, and drive my own car to my own job. At the ripe age of five, I was already stomping down my grandmother’s stairs in the smallest heels I could find, draped in old dresses, scarves and pearls, and bright red lipstick.
 I was eager to pass by the years, getting more and more excited when someone would gasp in astonishment when I would tell them I was ten, but they thought I looked thirteen. As time continued, I would push for more independence, more maturity, I loved when people would compliment me on how mature I was for my age, and I was convinced that the older I turned, the less I needed my mom.
The older I was, the more I drifted away from all the things that could even just possibly be an indicator that I was the tiniest bit childish, no color, no creativity, I wanted to hide the parts of myself that made me, me. I remember when I was in grade school, I was horrified to find out that I was the youngest in my class, so it only became more of a fixation to prove myself.
 Though looking back today, I don’t know what I was trying to prove, or who I was trying to prove it to. I look back on all of these things I felt so strongly about, and I ask myself, why did I want to grow up so fast?
Today I am no longer the insecure ten-year-old girl conjuring ideas in her bare “mature” bedroom on how to grow up. I am eighteen sitting in my dorm room that is decorated from floor to ceiling, wondering why I took for granted some of the sweetest years of my life asking again, why did I want to grow up? That I do not have an answer to, but I can say that ten-year-old me is wrong.
Hiding who you are sucks, and growing up really sucks too, because when reality hits, most of us are not living the glamorous movie star life we all fantasized about when we were young, we are bearing real responsibilities. So why should we try so hard to dull the sparkle inside of us that our families, friends and even us loved at some point? The little girls who rocked pink cowgirl boots no matter what the outfit, who couldn’t leave a grocery store without taking home that stuffed animal they fell in love with, who wore and did things that made them happy and not because they care that they will fit in.
Just because the number that represents our age has reached double digits and we are considered adults does not mean that the things we loved all our lives need to go. Decorate your space with colors and pictures that make your heart warm, treat yourself to that stuffed animal when its been a bad week, jump in rain puddles, dance with your friends, and call your mom when you need her. As we age, it does not mean we become any less human, and as long as we can continue to grow as a human through your mind and heart, you shouldn’t have to grow out of yourself and what makes you happy.
Staying in touch with your inner child and embracing the power of play as you navigate through life will unlock the joy some people never stop searching for.