Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

Yes, it is scary and yes, it may not go the way you want it to, but let me tell you how freeing it felt when I came out to my family. This is one of those moments where you truly feel scared, and you feel like you are starting a new beginning and that your whole life might change from just three simple words… “I am Gay.”  

You wonder why you must tell everyone you know about something that seems so normal to you, and why it could be such a big deal to some people that you love a little differently. Straight people do not have to come out to their parents.   

You don’t hear anyone saying… “Hey mom I have something to tell you… I am straight.” It just does not happen, but why? Why do I have to make it a point to tell people, so they do not try to set me up with a guy? Or so when I get married people are not flipping chairs and tables because they are surprised it is not with a man. It is how the world is right now. I must broadcast my sexuality so that people can know, or they will just assume I am straight or that I just need more time to find the “right guy” for me. Well, the “right guy” does not exist in my world.

I came out when I was around 13, and I was attending school at a private Catholic school. It was hard to feel like I fit in when all my friends talked about the guys they liked. Why did I feel so weird and uncomfortable with even the thought of talking to them about the girl I liked at the time? They were so open and giddy about these guys that I felt almost broken for not wanting to ever utter a word to them about any girl that I may like.  

Now as I get older, and become more open with who I am, I have realized that I am not living my life in fear of what others think of me and which gender I cannot help but like better. Coming out at such an early age has helped me develop this confidence a lot quicker, and sooner, to where I had not lived a lie for long; I find myself to be lucky because of that. Some people come out way later in adulthood which can be a much harder transition.  

Being scared is normal when it comes to coming out, but why does it have to be the fear of being gay that is normal and not just having someone who is gay be normalized more? Nobody should be scared to be something that they cannot change, and they should be encouraged to embrace who they are and who they end up loving. 

Noella is a member of Her Campus Saint Bonaventure chapter. As a new member she looks forward to focusing on writing about health and fitness in a college student’s life, and how to navigate the world of college while engaging in a healthy mental and physical lifestyle. She also is interested in delving into writing about the experiences of a college transfer student and how to adjust to new college atmospheres, specifically at Saint Bonaventure. Noella is currently a second-year student studying Criminology and Cyber security. She transferred to Saint Bonaventure after her first semester of the first year from Medaille University where she studied Veterinary Technology. Aside from Her Campus, Noella has entered writing pieces for Scholarship awards, and has received the Journey Health System Scholarship for an essay she wrote. She is also an editor for The Laurel, a member of Criminology club, a volunteer for the SBU food pantry, and a member of Psychology club. In her free time, Noella enjoys playing basketball, videogaming, and going to the gym. She loves all things sports and has a passion for working out and staying active. She loves writing fiction stories in her free time and loves to read psychological fiction and mystery books. She also has a love for animals and grew up on a farm taking care of animals on a day-to-day basis.