A few weekends ago, I was privileged enough to be able to go see “Hamilton”, a musical that has really marked crucial aspects of my life. Though it may be quite nerdy to say, this soundtrack has snuck its way into many little moments in my life. From listening to it and screaming so loud with my friend from Georgia whenever she comes up to see me, to singing it with my fellow camp counselors, Alex and Johnny (with assigned parts that we never stuck to, of course), to listening to the ENTIRE soundtrack from start to finish with my roommate Claire on our way back from a concert – this music has followed me.
Though I can recognize that he is a biased narrator, and this is, in some form or fashion, the point of the show, I will always have a soft spot for Aaron Burr.
I constantly fall victim to Hamilton syndrome. I am definitely “Non-Stop”. I just keep going for more and more and more, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can be really draining. I, unfortunately, am the definition of “talks for six hours, the convention is listless, bright young man, yo… who the – is this!?”.
While it is useful in some aspects of life to live like you’re running out of time, you don’t need every moment of your life to be that fast-paced. Taking the time to slow down and hone a craft or even just enjoy the little, itty, bitty things doesn’t mean I am falling behind OR running late.
Taylor Swift once said “I want to be defined by the things that I love – not the things I hate, not the things I’m afraid of, or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night, I just think that, you are what you love”.
You know what I love?
I love Baby Ruth candy bars, even though some people are embarrassed to be seen with them at the grocery store.
I love it when my roommates and I quote really, really niche things like the Amazing Bobinsky and that fact that we do indeed feed ourselves.
I love my hair, and I love it when people comment on it because it’s secretly one of my favorite features.
I love learning the little things about people and picking up on them to show I care about them like gifting them their favorite candy, listening to a song they like, or even learning the rules to a sport they enjoy.
If I focus all of my energy on accumulating and growing in academics and accolades and instruction, the life spark in me that grew into a raging fire slowly diminishes down to a singular, waving flame. My hobbies, interests, and love for people and the world around me make that spark glow and blaze to form the fiery person I am. Sometimes, doing too much “doing” can burn out my fire.
Waiting for it doesn’t mean that I am not accomplished or lazy. It just means that I’m putting effort into parts of myself for me, not for the validation of others.