I have been fortunate enough to have met some incredible women over the course of my life. Teachers, friends, family, coaches, classmates, professors, etc. Each woman has taught me something different either about myself or just the world in general.
Nothing is ever that serious.
This is a lesson I learned from a lot of the female friends I have made in college. This is not to say nothing matters. But, nothing is really that serious to the point you need to get upset over it and be distraught. I think about this a lot when I do not get the grade I was hoping for or if I bomb a speech in a class. Yes, things can seem embarrassing and irritating for the time being, but in reality, you are the only one who hyper analyzes everything you do and say. No one else is awake at night thinking about the embarrassing thing you last weekend. Nothing is ever really that serious. This also applies to not taking yourself to seriously. College is a time to further your education and you should not slack on your academic endeavors, but schoolwork should not be your only focus. Make time to have fun with your friends. Leave space to take care of yourself.
Advocate for yourself.
This is a lesson I have learned from the more experienced women in my life. Mostly, I hear this from my mother. Advocating for yourself and things you need is so important. And learning this skill as early is possible is essential for a successful career. I have come across many instances in my college career in which speaking up and asking for what I needed was the only way I could complete a task or assignment. It is important to remember that people cannot read your mind. If you do not ask for something you need, you will not get it. Speak up!
Learn to be selfish.
This is a unique lesson, but nonetheless an important one. I learned this from a professor that I studied abroad with. At the beginning of the trip, I was doing a lot to make sure everyone else was happy and that I was not stepping on anyone’s toes or being annoying (Air France lost my luggage for two weeks, so I complained a lot – duh!). My professor met with me for some lunch and replacement shopping. We chatted over pizza about how stressful the whole situation had been for me. She pointed out to me that I was creating some unnecessary stress for myself by worrying too much about other people.
“Be a little bit selfish,” she said. “You’ve earned it.” From then on, I worried a little less about if I was annoying the others and started being more selfish. Now, I was not being a jerk to everyone, but I took time for myself and did what I wanted to do, no matter what.
These lessons have always come at the perfect time and guided me in significant ways. I am utterly grateful to all the women in my life and the lessons they taught me that I carry with me every day.