My entire life I have been going 100 mph nonstop. From school, to sports, to camp, to my personal life and everything in between it was everything all at once, all the time. I was successful in my life, but my relationships with people always struggled. It was hard to make time to talk if there were issues or to be emotionally invested.
Recently, I had to stop. All the running around caught up to me and I was struggling in every aspect. Physically, I could barely walk from stress fractures in my back. Academically, I was barely keeping up in classes. Socially, I would rather do anything else then talk to people.
I had to get spinal surgery and was completely devastated to be out of everything for almost four months. Recovery was long, boring and lonely because a lot of people did not understand the situation. Sitting in bed all day gave me way too much time to think about everything in my life. To avoid ever having to actually think about myself, I would try to push recovery forward and try to do more before I could. It took a little of convincing from the doctors and my parents, but I finally listened when my dad told me to just relax because every day, I will get a little better again.
Since then, I have been able to focus on getting strong again in every aspect and slow down. It has been such a blessing. Academically, I have been able to understand my school work and remember why I chose my major and my career path. Socially, I have been able to put actual effort into relationships with the people I care about and learn about them, not just short-term niceties. It has allowed me not only to build relationships, but realize who I am and where I want to go on a deeper level.
Being able to take pride in my work and my life has improved every aspect of my life. I’m still swamped with work, but my mindset has changed from checking off boxes to being grateful that when my plate is full it means I’m eating. Sometimes it’s hard to realize what is important and what isn’t, but once I found it, I started to do better in every aspect of my life.