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Life

With Death, There Is Life

Olivia Francis
The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at SBU chapter.

My second year of college has not been easy. Mentally, I have been struggling, as I have begun to question who I am. Although this has been a difficult journey for me, I have decided that Olivia needs to pass away, and it’s not in the way that you think.  

In all our lives, everyone loses a loved one. I know that when I was a sophomore in high school, my grandma passed away from battling Covid-19. At first, I thought I was going to be fine since we weren’t that close, but the more time passed, the longer the days became, and I started to mourn her. She had lived with me and my family for three years at the time she died.  

The hardest thing I had to do was write a poem for her celebration of life. It felt like when I was writing it, I knew that she was gone, and she wasn’t coming back. If she saw me now, she would be so sad to see that I am struggling but would tell me how proud she is of everything that I have accomplished.  

There was a quote I heard this week from a guest speaker on campus, and she said, “You shouldn’t have to light yourself on fire just to keep someone else warm” and I swear, it changed my whole perspective on how I am feeling in college right now. The old Olivia would do anything to help those who were draining her energy and wasting her time just because she wanted to fit into a crowd that did not appreciate her. That’s why I had to let her go.  

Coming to college, I had one goal: Be a different person than I was yesterday. I felt like I was getting somewhere, but then big changes happened in my life, and I was back at square one. So, I needed to do something different.  

In my mind, I’m standing above a grave with no wording. I bend down, I plant flower seeds, and, over time, I watch the flowers grow. Although I have “died,” I am blossoming into something far greater than I expected. I’m becoming the woman little Olivia has always wanted to become.  

Although I mourn losing such a big part of myself, I know it’s necessary if I want to continue to grow. Believe me, growth is not easy. But, for me to reach my full potential as a person, I need to recognize all the good things in my life and teach myself how to make them great.  

Olivia Francis is a second-year member of the Her Campus at SBU chapter. She oversees the site’s culture, entertainment, and wellness verticals on the site, including mental health, relationships, TV shows, and movie coverage. Olivia is currently a second-year student majoring in Communications, Social Justice & Advocacy at St. Bonaventure University. Beyond Her Campus, Olivia has been published in many anthropologies over the years through an organization called Young Writers. She is also one of the leading coordinators for SBU's Break The Bubble. In her free time, Olivia enjoys writing poetry and short stories, along with taking walks while listening to her favorite music genres on Spotify such as Pop or R&B. One of her goals is to travel the world someday and explore new foods and customs. An interesting fact about Olivia is she is not only the first college gen student but, she is the first female in her family to go for a higher education.