Why you Don’t Go Around Outing People

I’m Bisexual. You know how you know that? Because I just told you. I, myself, came out to you and now you know my sexual orientation. That’s how that works. Someone identifies as something and then they come out to you. You know how it doesn’t work? Someone else comes around and yanks the closet door wide open leaving the individual to stumble forward. If they stumble forward, there’s the very real danger they could stumble, hit their head, and hurt themselves.  

Our world is changing, but, it isn’t finished. I’m addressing people reading in the states for this next part because I think without meaning to, we forget that the fight for acceptance doens’t end here—and we’re not even finished! Conversion therapy camps are still legal! They hide under religious organizations or masquarade corrections facilities, but they are real and can be detrimental to anyone that has to go into one of these camps. We are still seeing transgender men and women, especially of color, being discriminated against, harmed, and even killed. 

Now we’re going to leave the states, a reminder to those of us here,  and talk about places in the world where it is a crime, a crime punishable by death to be a part of  the LGBTQ+ community. In places outside of the states, like Mauritania, men and women can be stoned to death or imprisoned for being who they are. 

Now you know the big and scary reasons why you shouldn’t go opening your mouth about someone’s sexuality. Here’s the main one though: be a decent human fucking being and don’t talk about what isn’t your business. The fact of the matter is,  it’s not safe to be part of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s getting better, we’re making waves but—You. Never. Know. Your community may be accepting, you may be open minded but there is no way to know the collective view of everyone your friend, or loved one may run into. Outing someone without their permission can be as annoying as getting an ugly comment or it can be as dangerous as putting their life at risk. It can be as unkind as breaking someone’s trust. 

You don’t go around outting people, it’s unkind, rude, and dangerous. The decision to come out is, has, and always will be with the person who idenitfies as part of the LGBTQ+ community. 

• LGBTQ+