Everyone seems to be so concerned with the fact that dating isn’t like it used to be 10 or even 5 years ago. Obviously, things are different because that’s what happens as years go by – society and the world we live in changes. Why are we talking about these changes like they’re negative for every woman? Women used to be so focused on marriage, and granted some still are, but what about the women that have different wants? Is it so wrong to want to establish yourself and your career before you decide to settle and even consider starting a family?
This concern is most prominent within college age students, especially as it relates to “hookup culture” and how it has made it “impossible” for students to date. My take on this is that it’s not that college has made it impossible for people to date; it’s that priorities have just changed. If you are truly a person that wants to settle down to start a family as soon as possible, you will still find another person to complement those wants or needs. Sure, that want may not be fulfilled instantly, but those who feel strongly about it will stay true to those values.
There are plenty of people that are engaged or married at SCAD and that’s wonderful. That’s just something I know I don’t want until I make a name for myself in this world. For me, having a boyfriend is like taking an extra class: I don’t have the time for it, even if I wanted it. The amount of work that I have on a daily basis between school, my internship, preparing for a crazy summer and transferring campuses makes it nearly impossible to focus on anything outside of that.
Bless if I ever have to hear my mom say “why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free” again, but I’m sure after this article I’ll have a few voicemails. (Love you mom.) Really though, at the end of the (hectic) day, is 20 really the age to be looking for someone to “buy the cow?” We have our entire lives ahead of us.
By no means am I trying to put down or invalidate anyone who has different values and would like to be married or, at least, in a serious, committed relationship at this age. What I truly want is for others not to be looked down on for their choices but instead to spend their time growing into the people they were destined to become. After all shouldn’t you love yourself and be totally content on where you are in life before you love someone else? The point at which you’re content like that varies for everyone, and we need to embrace that. Our generation is evolved enough for dating culture to allow anything from casual flings, to marriage at the age of 20 and everything in between. So who is anyone to judge that?