“You’re different than most girls”. Wow really? Thanks! Believe it or not I am actually my own person with my own unique life experiences. If I took a poll I’m sure the majority of girls (or should I say “most girls”) have been hit with this line. For some reason, you are surprised I have my own thoughts, feelings and goals. In theory, this is a nice line and I understand where it’s coming from: trying to tell the girl she is unique. But you’re also telling me you see girls as some mass pink conglomerate with all the same interests and values. If you think this, you clearly do not have a good relationship with women, and probably not a lot of respect for them. If you took the time to know the women that surround you, you would see how unique each one is. If it’s too hard to understand, think of us as snowflakes. And though I appreciate you see the things that make me different, I do not appreciate you lumping together “most” of the female population. And to set the record straight, I am different than ALL other girls, because every girl is different.
“You’re pretty for a…(insert race, hair color, physical attribute)”. This just comes off as plainly racist or judgmental and biased towards particular groups. When looking for a partner, you want someone who is going to treat you as an equal, not see you as an exception to a warped standard. You want them to appreciate and accept your culture and your family, but these sort of phrases show nothing but judgment and insecurity. It’s a way of paying a compliment while also being degrading and is just plain unacceptable.
“You’d be prettier if you smiled more”. Or just “you should smile more often”. This isn’t always necessarily a pick up line, but it’s a line women often hear from both men and women. Maybe I’m not smiling because I’ve had a hard day, maybe because it’s because I don’t want to talk to you, or maybe it’s because smiling constantly would be exhausting. For some reason women are expected to look happy all the time, but believe it or not I feel just as pretty with a neutral expression. This comment comes across as sexist and inconsiderate.
What this really all comes down to is being treated with respect from the start of a relationship. A respectful partner who truly values your individuality will treat you as an equal and will honor the diversity not just among other women, but amongst all other people.