10 Candies To Give To Your Ex For Halloween

1. Black Licorice

You absolutely can not trust anyone who enjoys black licorice. It has been scientifically proven that black licorice can be harmful if you eat too much. Not sure who would eat more than one piece of black licorice, but you get the point.

2. Candy Corn

Candy corn may be one of the most controversial candies of all time. People either love or hate this candy. In my professional, candy-eating opinion, candy corn should not be a thing anymore.

3. Whoppers

Who the heck decided to invent these circular, stale balls of hell? These aren’t made for eating; they are made for chucking at people’s heads.

4. NECCO Wafers

Okay first of all, if you mix these with Pepsi it’ll light on fire. Long story short: do not eat these.

5. Those Orange Circus Peanut things

Can we stop producing these? Please?

6. Mellocreme Pumpkins

What are these even made of? When I look at them I feel like they’re supposed to be decorations for your dining table, not edible candies.

7. UTZ Halloween Pretzels

Every time I open a bag of these, without fail, there is a maximum of five pretzels inside. Neighborhoods need to stop handing out these disappointments.

8. Almond Joys

To me, these are coconut-filled spawns of Satan. Personally, I used them to my advantage by finding someone who loved them and trading them for Reese’s Peanut Butter cups.

9. Good & Plenty

Here’s the thing…they are not good. But there are plenty.

10. Smarties

I’m sorry but eating chalk is not an enjoyable experience for me. Also, do not tell me that each color is a different flavor. Close your eyes and put each one in your mouth. I am telling you right now that they are all the same.

Now go out there, scramble up a bag of these “candies” and leave them on your enemies’ doorsteps! Happy Halloween!

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• ex
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• halloween
• october
• relationship