1. I am a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need man.
Oh wait, maybe I do.
2. Who needs a boyfriend when you have ice cream?
Me, me I need a boyfriend.
3. WHO IS THIS GIRL AND WHY IS HE IN HER NEW PROFILE PICTURE?!
I’m prettier than her, right?
4. I’m just going to focus on me right now.
Time for me to eat salad everyday, get super hot and make him regret this.
5. I know we ended on good terms, but if he ever thinks he is getting this sweatshirt back he is dead wrong.
This is the comfiest thing ever and you don’t deserve it back, a-hole.
6. It’s 2 a.m. on a Saturday night: I’m alone and there is no one to cuddle with.
To text or not to text? That is the question. Guess I’ll invest in a body pillow…
7. Why did we break up again?
Oh wait, you are a self-absorbed jerk who will never grow up and will be living in your mother’s basement forever. Ha!
8. I’ll just drink my pain away.
Woops, I drank myself into missing you.
9. Oh sh*t, you moved on before I did.
That is NOT allowed. I broke up with you; therefore I should be the one with a new man.
10. After all we’ve been through, I hope we can be friends.
Oh wait, I forgot girls can’t be friends with guys because guys’ heads are in the clouds.
Though break ups are hard, they are often necessary. Think of it this way: You got rid of your frog and you’re now one-step closer to finding your prince. The best is yet to come!