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“What were you wearing?”
“Had you been drinking?”
“Did you tell him to stop?”Â
“Why Now, After So Many Years?”
“I don’t believe you.”Â
“A boy like him would never do that.”
“Boys will be boys.”Â
“Did you provoke him?”
Imagine being through one of the most horrific experiences someone could go through. You feel scared, violated. Despite all of that pain, you’re brave enough to go to the police or confide in someone about what you’ve gone through.Â
Imagine the response being one of the lines above. Imagine being blamed for a crime, an act of violence, that was done to you.Â
For many women this the reality they face when reporting rape and sexual assault. After suffering through something so horrific, having their trust and bodily autonomy violated, they choose to confide in someone. Or to seek justice and report the crime. And they are shamed. This is the toxic culture of victim-blaming.Â
According to RAINN, the nation large largest anti-sexual violence organization 4 out of 5 college women who experienced sexual assault do not report it. There are many different reasons for this – all are all valid.Â
However, two of the top reasons why these women don’t report, are because of fear of not being believed by police, and fear of retaliation.Â
Both of those reasons stem from those phrases – “what were you wearing?” “I don’t believe that he would do that.” All meant to shame the victim, not the perpetrator.
This is reprehensible, no one should feel fear in reporting sexual violence or assault.Â
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Through awareness and education, we can create an environment where no one should be afraid to come forward.