once again circumstances force me to extinguish the smallest flame.Â
(as if you’re not just a cheap imitation–a second choice–a last resort when i couldn’t get what i really wanted.)
day in and day out i search for empty eyes, cold hands, and worthless hearts… none of them even come close to his.Â
(then-what-the-hell-is-my-goal)
because i want to be wanted and i crave your attention.
because i crave any attention.
watch me plunge into the rocky waters for any eyes or bodies to follow my form.Â
“if you didn’t want anyone to listen, why did you say anything at all?”
drop my name, honey, and i’ll be at your beck and call.
no, i don’t need voltaire to tell me that this isn’t the best of all worlds.
the lack of you makes it clear enough.
Â
– i want. and i don’t know how to stop wanting.