Due to obvious reasons, the past few months have been nothing like we’ve all imagined. The world is a disaster right now, something terrifying to not only me but to everyone around me. It’s filled with a lot of uncertainty, on both large and small scales. Honestly, I feel guilty about being anxious about my senior year when there are much larger issues in our world today. But this is something that I can’t ignore. I may not be able to control what is happening in our society, I can try to control and calm my anxiety about something as simple as a senior year at college. In order to do this, I’ve come up with a list of questions that I want to ask myself a few months from now, at the end of the spring semester. No matter what the answer is, I’ll get through it, it’s just the unknown that is eating me away right now. That being said, we’ll come back to these questions in June 2021.
1 How long were you able to stay in Scranton?
With the number of cases rising I know it’s not likely we’ll be here the entire semester. I made do with the situation in March, I’ll be able to do it again.
2 Did you have any in person classes this year?
Right now, writing this in August, all of my classes are fully remote. I wanted to come back to school despite this to see my friends, I couldn’t imagine starting senior year from that old wicker desk in the corner of my room at home, I just had to come back to Scranton. Online classes are such a different experience, so I hope that the spring treated you differently.
3 Are you starting PT school this summer?
As of last night, I only have to edit the essay for the application before I can submit it. Honestly, thinking about starting grad school in less than a year is absolutely crazy! I hope you’re starting it soon, and in person, but I guess we’ll make do with whatever the decision turns out to be.
4 Did you walk at a graduation?
This question is the one that is eating away at me the most. Will we be allowed to have large gatherings by the time graduation rolls around? At this rate, I’m thinking probably not and that makes me want to cry. I can’t imagine not having a college graduation ceremony, but if I’m being realistic, I need to start preparing myself to miss out on that milestone.
Everyone always says that they feel so bad for the class of 2020, which don’t get me wrong, I do feel sorry for them. But at the same time, they had 3/4s of their senior year, completely normal. What about the class of 2021? Will we get a senior year? I can’t sit in a classroom to take class. I can’t eat at a table with more than 3 of my friends. I can’t have other people in my apartment unless we’re wearing masks and standing far away from each other. I know how selfish all of this sounds, as there are bigger and more serious problems than the simplicity of a normal senior year, but I’m longing for things that I know are out of my reach. I hope I surprise myself when I come back to answer these 4 questions in June, I really do. But if I’ve learned anything from 2020, it’s to not get your hopes up about anything.