The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of The University of Scranton.
As a senior in college, there’s a lot of uncertainty when it comes to figuring out the next steps. From kindergarten to college, there has always been a clear environment where you’re expected to learn and build a support system. Whether it’s moving to a new state, getting a job, moving back home, or going to grad school, it’s a lot for anyone to navigate.
I’m discovering a whole new sense of self, different from the confident, understanding adult I grew into during college. As I consider pursuing online grad school, I try not to show how worried I am when people ask about my post-graduate plans. Entering your early to late twenties means making mistakes, but I worry about making all the wrong ones.
At a post-graduate counseling appointment offered by the University, one of the counselors introduced me to an exercise I hadn’t encountered before. It’s called the Circle of Control. It consists of three circles that help identify what we do and don’t have power over.
The control circle includes the things we can directly manage, like our work or productivity. The influence circle involves people or factors that can shape our thinking, such as others’ opinions or reputations. Finally, the circle of concernincludes things that are completely outside our control, like the media or strangers’ comments.
I was fascinated by how this process worked. Once I organized everything into circles, I realized I had given too much power to the circles of influence and concern. I was worried about what my family and friends would think of me pursuing an online graduate degree while living at home. Would they be proud of me? Is it bad that I’m getting a nontraditional graduate school experience? Will I stay in touch with my college friends? Will I change as some of my friends head into the workforce while others stay in school?
What also struck me was how much outside influence shapes the way I think. When I was younger, I believed life followed a set plan: graduate college, find a job, build a life, and eventually retire. But going to college made me realize that this interpretation of life isn’t always how things play out. The steps might change…and I’ve changed the steps myself.
I had these grand ideas about traveling and meeting new people, and I didn’t realize I was already doing just that. These next steps are all about interpretation, and we shouldn’t let our minds wander too far toward some idealized version of what life “should” be.