1. You’ve been on the tread for 30 sweaty minutes then oh my lanta!!! Your CRUSH is behind you. How long has he been there? Has he been staring at your quivering flesh this whole time?
2. That short old man in shorts that are shorter than yours who won’t stop smiling and nodding at you and then attempts to follow you home and you hide in the library for safety. Or does this only happen to me?
3. You’re finishing up your 1246th crunch and the guy next to you on the lets it RIIIIP. But like… he doesn’t even know that he just crop-dusted the stretching mat because his headphones were in. And everyone knows you can’t smell your own fart.
4. You see your teacher. It’s like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.
5. Making eye contact with someone while you’re on that one machine
6. Making eye contact with anyone
7. You feel like you’re at a middle school dance because all the boys are on one side, and all the girls are on the other (unless you’re really brave).
8. When you kind of know a girl on the elliptical next to you, but she keeps looking forward pretending not to see you. Then its too awkward to sneak in a casual hello until she gets off the elliptical 15 minutes later and says, “Oh hi! How are you? I didn’t even see you there!” People these days, am I right?
9. The Crossfit guy next to you wearing a “TRAIN DIRTY” low rider tank that is grunting during his WOD.