It’s been a phat minute since the last feature of SCU Cribs, but yo gurl Keely is back and ready to show you yet another house on the infamous Bellomy Street. It’s 2015, and Sh!t House is on the menu.
Sometimes people say bigger is better, but that is definitely not true with Sh!t… (House, that is). Looking at it from the outside, you can see its chipping blue paint pairs perfectly with the pink lettering. One of the most aesthetically pleasing accents to the house is the “Enter If You Dare” written in what appears to be blood on the window. The girls who live here are so trendsetting and chic. In fact, not only are the ladies of Sh!t House chic, but also they are environmentally friendly. They don’t use Pacific Gas and Electric Company—they prefer to produce their own gas.
Now, let’s take a look inside. In the common room, there are plenty of couches for the gatherings that Sh!t House fancies having, and on the walls are motivational and fun strung letters. One of them says “Da Real Sh!t House,” and the other says “Haters Gonna Hate.” Basically, the inhabitants of Sh!t House have a great attitude, and they bury their haters with smiles.
Now let’s get to the juicy part. Forget the kitchen, and forget the bedrooms. I’m taking you to the most important and VIP room of the house: the bathroom. We’ll call it the master.
Adorned with a beautiful shower curtain and savory candle aromas, this room is the place to be. If you are lucky to be a guest at Sh!t House, you must certainly enter the bathroom. When you do, be sure to document your time in the Sh!t House bathroom guest book. If you don’t sign it, were you really even there?
A fellow Sh!t House attendee Nick “Nickymed” Medeiros once quoted, “I have enjoyed my time in your restroom and hope to spend more time here.” (“Here” meaning the restroom).
You heard it here first, folks. Thanks for tuning in to SCU Cribs. Keely out: signing off from the fabulous Sh!t House toilet.