The “ick” is a new phenomenon popularized by Gen Z that involves strange or cringe feelings when seeing someone romantically. It can happen suddenly and out of nowhere, but you’ll be automatically turned off by someone’s behavior or actions. “Icks” can vary from minor everyday actions or a major fundamental difference in values. It can be difficult to explain why or how it happens, but we all know it does.
To help you make sense of it all, here are some helpful tips on how to handle the situation:
Identifying whether or not you have the “Ick”:
It’s completely normal to lose attraction for a potential love interest. It’s important to set boundaries and standards when getting to know someone new. Sometimes, attraction can fade over time or differences in your lifestyles can affect your compatibility. But, if you find yourself feeling immediately turned off by someone and it feels like it just came “out of the blue,” you most likely got the “ick.” Oftentimes, this feeling comes after experiencing a minor action that should be insignificant. On paper, these “icky” actions shouldn’t be a dealbreaker, but it just is for you.
That’s perfectly normal! Others might not get why it’s a turn-off for you, but you know yourself best. If it doesn’t feel right, trust your gut and put yourself first!
Dealing with “Ick” Guilt:
Sometimes, you might feel guilty for breaking it off with someone over something many would see as small. Your friends or family might not understand why you’d feel cringed out by a person who’s great in so many other ways and you might not want to hurt anyone’s feelings. This could be a great place to reflect on the relationship. Ask yourself if this is something you could look over long-term or if it’s something that’s related to another characteristic that you don’t necessarily like about them. Can the “ick” be solved with a simple conversation? Is the “ick-factor” a fundamental part of their personality? It’s always best to communicate well in every relationship, so it might be worthwhile to open up to your partner if you think it can be worked out. If it can’t, try to not feel too bad about it and let them know it’s just not working out for you. Your standards are important and shouldn’t be sacrificed. It’s all part of getting to know someone and figuring out whether or not you guys work!
Remember, every relationship is unique and different. It’s not about finding the “perfect” person. It’s about finding your person. It’s completely up to you, so trust yourself and your experiences. Try to not pressure yourself or let others influence your decisions when finding love. It’s different for everybody, so trust your gut!