As we are now in the new year of 2020 having to re-state the phrase, “STOP! DEMEANING! OTHERS!” seems ridiculous, and yet everyday I see situations like these. Here are a few of examples:
- My best friend’s boyfriend called her “property”
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This situation completely blew me off. I was MAD, so mad that my face turned red (that rarely happens). Here is how it went down, I was video chatting with my bestie, having a one on one conversation. OUT OF NOWHERE her boyfriend’s face popped up and he said “This is my property” whilst touching my friend’s hair. First of all, are you Mother Gothel? Is my friend Rapunzel? DOES HER HAIR HAVE MAGIC POWERS????? Second of all, it is NOT funny. I straight up told him “You don’t say that” (thank god I have EQ or else I would’ve flew to Rhode Island and slapped him across the face) and he said “It’s just a joke!” DAYUM. You see, people might call us snowflakes, but this is not even remotely funny. We hung up and I texted my friend if she was okay. She said yes and that he says it all the time, and that it was “kinda” funny. Am I stupid or something? How is that funny? Please explain. Moral of the story her boyfriend and her just set back feminism a thousand years, and even if she thought it was funny, other people might start taking after thinking that it is okay to call women “property”. No matter what, a “joke” like this should not be made and is sexist.
- Using the N word (or any other word that refers to ethnicity)
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Look, sometimes people of colors say it. And they think it’s okay. I’m not a person of color. I’m asian, but I have an opinion on it. Take it or leave it. Here’s the deal. The N word started as an ethnic slur. It was used degroately. Using that word even amongst the same people makes the word seem “okay”. There was a movie Coach Carter. I quote “We treat ourselves with respect. We don’t use that word.” “N**** is a derogatory term used to insult our ancestors. See, if a white man used it, you’d be ready to fight. Your using it teaches him to use it. You’re saying it’s cool. Well, it’s not cool, and when you’re around me, I don’t want to hear that s***! Are we clear?” Take this into consideration. Think about it. Watch that movie. I learnt a lot from it when I was a child, and even now, it’ll remind us to be a good person. *I’m not saying that other people saying it is okay. No matter what the use of that word is not okay.
- Homophobia or Transphobia
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Personally, I’ve been hearing less and less people using “gay” as an insult. But even now homophobia and transphobia is very much alive. For example, the other day walking down the street. A gay couple holding hands and wearing rainbow clothing was walking right infront of me. And I overheard some whispers “Why do they have to show it to everyone, just be normal!”, and another “ I bet both of them just hasn’t found the right girls yet, someone that gives them a good blowie.” PEOPLE STOP! Seriously. It’s not funny, nor is it “manly” for anyone ever to say something like that. Just like sexism and racism. No matter their sexual orientation, or gender they do not or do identify with. Treating someone else differently is not right. Many people do not realize they do this, but it is very clear in others eye. If you refer to them the wrong way, apologize. EVEN if it was an accident. They will appreciate it. People with dysmorphia they take being referred wrongly very personally. I know this because my friend is a Trans person. He says “Sometimes people accidentally call me a she, because I look a bit different than a normal boy, and I’d think about it for weeks and weeks. It’s really hard.” From my Lesbian friend “People don’t really openly say things, but they’d move away from us when I’m sitting with my girlfriend. It’s really uncomfortable for us, I don’t feel safe going out at all.” We as human beings need to learn that others have feelings too, and we shouldn’t say things that are degrading and harmful, and we shouldn’t DO things that are degrading and harmful.
I’m 18, and maybe I don’t know a lot about “the real world” yet, and maybe I’m being too idealistic here. But we can strive towards a world where everyone is equal, and take equity OVER equality. No matter your religion, or if you don’t have one. Humans are made to BE equal. Equality does not mean that someone else has an advantage, it means that everyone has the same rights, and everyone gets the same treatment, and those who need it gets a little boost to get started. You might think that changing yourself isn’t going to change anything, but one more person that stops doing one of these things, is one tiny step towards a safe environment for everyone. STAND UP FOR OTHERS, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF STOP BEING MEAN! Sounds easy huh? It is. DO IT.