I don’t remember exactly how old I was the first time I wrote fanfiction. I think it was around sixth grade that I started reading it, and I loved how much emotion it could draw from me. I started with One Direction—because let’s be real, who hasn’t read a good Harry Styles fanfic?—and I went from there. When I started writing my own, I got the inspiration from a song lyric I had heard. Now, I don’t remember the lyric or the song, but I know I crafted an entire story around this one lyric, and I took it and ran with it. I posted it on Instagram, because that’s where I had been reading fanfiction. Then some girl from my middle school commented, and I quote, “omg this is so annoying,” and for a little while, I was super embarrassed. Let me be clear, it was by no means a good story. It was poorly written, far too wild of an idea to actually work out well in any way, shape, or form, and I had no idea how I wanted it to end. When she told me it annoyed her, I apologized—remember being super insecure in sixth grade?—and deleted it. I deleted it. Months of hard work, late nights, wild ideas–all deleted because someone I didn’t even like commented that it annoyed her. Now, looking back, I wish I had told her to beat it. I wish I had told her to unfollow me. Sure, it wasn’t a good story, but it was my story, my first time sharing my work with people other than my family.
Then a weird thing happened. People started DM-ing me and asking what happened to the fic. I was shocked to hear that people actually liked it, because one mean girl told me it annoyed her. The people DM-ing me were the same people who had been obsessively commenting on my posts, telling me how much they loved it, DM-ing me to ask me when the next update would be, etc. It felt like I had a small fanbase. It was wild. Somewhere along the line, I found Wattpad, and yeah, get out your eye rolls and scoffs, because I’m about to talk really positively about Wattpad. Are you done scoffing? Are you done rolling your eyes? Good. Let’s continue.
The summer between eighth and ninth grade, I was still consumed with fanfiction. I hadn’t written any since I was told it was annoying, but I read fanfiction more than I read published books. One night, I had a really vivid dream that kept replaying in my head. I decided I could do something with it. I wrote it down. A rough draft of a final scene. I wasn’t sure where I would use it, but I liked it. Then I got into Supernatural. I mean I got really into Supernatural. I was obsessed. And the dream I had fit so well into a scene I could envision with Dean. so I started writing. A couple chapters in, I created a story on Wattpad. I didn’t know what I expected. Maybe two reads. Maybe none. I think I just wanted to keep my fic in a place that celebrated fanfiction. So I posted it. And then two reads became a hundred. And then a hundred became two thousand. And then two thousand became forty thousand, and I’ve been done with that fic for five years and the number is still growing. I’m still getting votes and comments, all really positive, even though when I go back to read bits and pieces now, I can laugh at how poorly developed my writing was at the time. Right now, I have three fanfictions on Wattpad, all of them better than the last. The first two are traditional fanfictions, where it takes place in their world and the characters act the way they would on the show. The third one, the last novel length fanfiction I wrote, just needs some name changes to be completely original. I took the characters out of their world, created a world, created my own characters, and let it take on a life of its own.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the only reason the last fanfiction I wrote was a fanfiction was because I was too scared to write something entirely original. What if the people who were so supportive of my fics hated my original work? What if I got another “this is so annoying” comment? Well, great news: I’m not afraid anymore. I’ve written an original novel, a handful of short stories, and even got one of those short stories published on an online literary magazine. I’m a creative writing major, preparing to submit another short story to a different literary journal. You know what that is? Growth. And all of this happened because I decided to start posting my fanfiction online when I was around twelve years old.
So here’s the thing. I’m a writer now. But I was a writer then, too. I’m just a better writer now. I know my style and my voice, and I have some idea as to what I should expect from myself when I sit down to write. I know how to motivate myself, what my favorite time of day to write is, where I like to write, and where I can’t write. I’ve been a writer since I was in third grade and started writing two-page ghost stories. Now I’m 19, published, and still improving. Last winter break, on my Tumblr, I wrote a bunch of Stranger Things one-shots (for those of you who don’t know, a one-shot is a short, stand alone fanfiction). As I write this article, I’m at the airport, waiting to go home, and I’m wondering what fics I’ll be motivated to read and write this winter break, sitting in the exact spot where I wrote my very first Supernatural fanfiction.
Fanfiction let me develop as a writer. Fanfiction is the reason I’m where I am now—majoring in creative writing, an aspiring author and editor, published. Have you ever heard of Jennifer Niven? Author of All the Bright Places and Holding Up the Universe? She loves fanfiction. She writes and reads Supernatural fanfiction on the side of being a published author. Holding Up the Universe has Supernatural references in it. Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell (one of my all time favorite novels) is all about Cath’s love for fanfiction. Two really big franchises right now are 50 Shades of Grey and After—we can talk about how they’re problematic later—which were originally Twilight and Harry Styles fanfiction, that later got published and made into movies. Maybe you like them, maybe you don’t–that’s not the point. The point is that fanfiction is already a huge part of the media we consume, whether or not we’re aware of it.
Up until last year, I was really embarrassed to tell people I read fanfiction. Only my closest friends knew I write it, and even then some of them would make fun of me. Sometimes, telling people I’m into fanfiction feels like a weird coming out process. So here it is. Fanfiction is awesome. Fanfiction writers are super human, and they deserve more credit. Don’t be embarrassed to read fanfic from your favorite stories—there’s fanfiction out there for everything. Don’t be afraid to write fanfiction for your favorite stories, worlds, and characters. You never know how far it could take you.