Why I Hate Halloween

I think I might be one of the only people in the world that actually can’t stand Halloween. Trust me, it’s not because I hate candy and small children dressed up as whatever generic costume is all the rage that year-there’s logic behind my reasoning. 

1. Sorry if I don’t wanna dress like a sloot. 

I feel like literally EVERY costume that I see EVERY year is “sexy.” You name it, they have it: sexy french maid, sexy cop, sexy cat, sexy hot dog, sexy ninja turtle…I’m not about it. Ya know, Cady Heron really had the right idea all those years ago…

2. It’s considered to be “frowned upon” to trick-or-treat when you’re 20 and in college.

WHY. Everyone knows this is only thing Halloween has going for it. In college, it’s just three consecutive days of drinking yourself into an oblivion where you wake up with half of you costume (and dignity) missing. My poor liver just can’t handle it anymore, hand me the twizzlers instead. 

3. I don’t have time or money to be creative.

I mean, hello, I’m a broke college student over here. Where do poeple find the time to make these elaborate costumes. If you need me, I’ll be out buying some cat ears or devil horns. Good enough. 

4. It’s a reminder that fall is almost over, and *dramatic pause* winter is coming.

It’s bad enough that we have to deal with summer leaving, but fall too??? No thanks. 

5. I don’t like being scared. 

I just don’t get you people. Why do you enjoy screaming and basically peeing your pants? Do you enjoy bascially being an infant again? Cause they sound pretty similar. 

I’m not knocking all you Halloween-lovers. I give you credit: the time and planning, the constumes, the creativity, the dedication-it’s pretty admirable. Maybe in the future I’ll convert to one of you. For now, I think I’ll just stick to the basics. 

• fall
• halloween
• hate
• New Jersey
• october
• Seton Hall
• South Orange