A Toast to Ellen Doster

For this week’s Tuesday Toast at the Wick, senior Ellen Doster shared her experience heading up Sewanee’s first ever Gender and Sexual Diversity (GSD) theme house, located on the compound beside Hodgson. If you didn’t get a chance to attend, check out the full video on the Wick’s Youtube channel, or check out the sticking points below from her inspiring talk about being a trailblazer for queer students at Sewanee. (Also, check out their Facebook Page for constant updates about awesome upcoming GSD events!)

• The house was named the Gender and Sexual Diversity House (as opposed to the LGBTQ house) because the full spectrum of sexuality is not limited to only LGBTQ identities. “The LGBT initialism can get really long (LGBTQIA+) but it still doesn’t include everyone,” Ellen said. “So we decided GSD was 1) more inclusive and 2) easier to say. An increasing number of people are using GSD or GSM (gender and sexual minorities) as a way of looking at identities as a spectrum.”
• “My reasons [for wanting this house to exist] were both personal and environmental. From a personal level, well, I identify as queer. Environmentally, a space like this just didn’t exist before, and I really would have liked it when I was just starting out at Sewanee.”
• The term “Queer” encompasses a wide arrange of gender and sexual orientations, but Ellen, who came out second semester sophomore year identifies “bisexual (sexual attraction to same and different genders), and non-binary, which basically means I’m neither masculine or feminine. Sometimes I’m more masculine or more feminine depending on the day/my mood (most of the it’s somewhere in between, and I don’t feel strongly either way), and I sometimes use gender neutral pronouns.”
• Despite a few negative setbacks (flag vandalism, hateful emails), the response from the Sewanee community has been “overwhelming.”
• Participating in the New York Outreach trip exposed Ellen to a wide array of diversity, and she used her experiences in NYC to try and bring some of that inclusiveness to the Sewanee bubble. 
• The term queer has often been associated with negativity, but “the younger generation is reclaiming it” to allow the term to encompass a wide arrange of gender and sexual orientations. 
• “Having a house is important, not only because it is a space where everyone can gather to talk openly and honestly about their experiences, but because it is a physical and visible way to say we are here.” 
• And, they’re not going away – Ellen and her fellow leaders of the GSD house are working to get a location on central campus next year so they can be even more present in the Sewanee community. To help them do this, all it takes is all of us spreading the word and vocalizing support to boost the organization’s chances of getting a better location.
• The notorious dating scene at Sewanee is much more difficult for the LGBTQ community “because there is just a smaller pool of candidates to choose from.”
• “Coming out is not a one-time thing. Every time you go to a new place, you have to worry about whether or not you will be accepted if you come out there.” 
• “What I would say to people who are still working through things, who are still facing that fear of coming out – we support you and affirm your decisions. We don’t want you to feel pressured to come out – it’s an incredibly brave thing to do, but it is absolutely your decision, and we will not try to make it for you. We understand that each time you come out brings up the same anxieties and fears, and it takes a huge amount of bravery and trust. The GSD House has a policy of total confidentiality – if you want to speak with one of us with questions or what your’re feeling or any way you may need help, we are happy to do so in whatever setting is comfortable for you. We’re here for you, and you have our support regardless of whether or not you want or need to come to us.” In other words, you don’t have to already be firmly set in your gender and sexual identity to be a part of the GSD house – they welcome anyone who is questioning their sexuality, or even just has questions about their movement and what they’re all about. 
• “Heterosexuals should keep on keepin’ on.” The GSD house isn’t hateful towards traditional sexual orientations (which, as Ellen pointed out, isn’t necessarily true when the roles are reversed), and welcomes heterosexuals to be involved with and supportive of GSD efforts.

Ultimately, one of the biggest takeaways from Ellen’s toast was that “just because we have a house now does not mean all our problems are solved.” The theme house was a huge step in the right direction, but the struggle is far from over. Ellen’s gentle yet passionate disposition and her clear dedication to her cause inspired everyone in the room to think about ways in which we can all, as a community, come together to support the LGBTQ cause. Their house is not just a “theme house” and their cause is not just a “theme”. Their house is a place where everyone, regardless of their gender or sexual orientation, can come together to be a part of a movement much greater than themselves, and their cause is not just a theme because the compassionate, relentless, and dedicated individuals who lead the movement at Sewanee will ensure that their efforts have a lasting and substantial impact that transcends any chronological limitations the word “theme” might imply.