There comes a point in time in a relationship when the holidays roll around and you may start to wonder— are we spending this holiday together or apart? Who’s house would we go to? Will their family like me?
It’s questions like this that lead to some big decisions for your relationship. Maybe this is the year you’re going to meet your partner’s family. Maybe you have already met them, but this year is your first Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza or New Year’s with them. Regardless of the situation, spending a holiday with a family that isn’t your own can be . . . different, to say the least. It’s just not your regular thing, and sometimes that can be scary to adjust to. In the end though, it’s usually worth it.
Every family has their own traditions and holiday habits, but that’s not to say that you can’t have fun and enjoy them too. It just takes some courage on your part and willingness to be open to new things. Below are some helpful tips to get you through the holidays with your significant other’s family this year:
1. Avoid political, religious or controversial topic talk
I know, this seems like common sense. Everybody in the South is taught this, right? Not always. Plus, after this election, how could this kind of stuff not come up? If it does, the best thing to do is to be polite in stating your opinion and then try to avoid an argument. Maybe down the road when you know them better, or if there were alcohol involved, it would be fun to address these topics. When you’re just meeting everyone though, stick to the basics, like college life and your career plans.
2. Be yourself, but not like, the yourself that you are when you and your S.O. are alone
It’s important to not put on a front. You don’t want your partner’s family thinking you’re fake or up tight if you’re neither of those things, but they also don’t need to know if you pass gas every time you go up stairs or can burp the alphabet on command (unless they seem like they’d be into that, then have at it). Ultimately, it’s good to be yourself and tell them about the things you enjoy and dislike, but try not to give away too much the first time you meet.
3. Bring something to the people hosting you
Whether it’s a delicate handmade craft or some flowers you picked up at Walmart on the way into town, bringing something to say thanks to the family of your significant other can be a great way to start off the relationship with them. I’m not saying to bribe them, though. Don’t show up with a flatscreen TV or anything crazy. Just stick to something small and simple that shows them you’re happy to be in their company.
4. If you’re bad at names, stick to calling people their respective polite pronouns
If you’re like me and can’t remember a name two seconds after you heard it, try to remember pronouns. It can be tough if there’s a big family gathering and you significant other can’t stay by your side the whole time. If your significant other introduces you to their AUNT Sarah or their GRANDPA Ben, it’s safe to say you can call them ma’am or sir, respectively, and they’ll still like you just the same. Chances are, they probably didn’t remember your name either.
Lastly, have fun and just enjoy yourself. It can be intimidating meeting a bunch of people who are important to your significant other, but it can also be really rewarding. They trust you and like you enough to introduce you to those people, so it’s good to show them that you are a great person for their niece/nephew/grandchild/cousin/whatever it may be.
Remmeber— it’s the holidays, so everyone should be in a fairly decent mood anyway and hopefully less scary than usual.