Photo by: LaShauna Bell
Sharing your life with someone can have its moments of absolute bliss, but it can also have difficult spells. We all know how to live through the wonderful parts. You take in the moment, inhale as much of it as you can. You dive head first into the warm feelings you get when wrapped in your significant other’s arms. You do whatever is necessary to add to their happiness and move mountains to remove anything that makes their smile fade. You admire them for everything they possess. You close your eyes and remember every aspect and detail of their face and engrave it into the forefront of your mind so that you could never forget it. The sound of their laugh, their voice, is powerful enough to spur passion but gentle enough to lull you to sleep. That significant other is… home.
So how do you upset the balance with someone you love at that magnitude? When do their wants stop becoming your wants, and when do you voice that change? As a woman in my own long-lasting relationship, it’s easy to say that it can be hard to do. But what if communication isn’t the issue? What if it’s just the ever-so-present looming urge to ride that river of bliss? No one necessarily wants to brave rocky and uncharted area of discord within relationships. No one wants to disrupt the flow of social interaction and be the cause of an uncomfortable atmosphere. But honey, it’s necessary when something becomes problematic to you.
It’s been brought to my attention that many women, at no fault of their own, want to be nothing but pleasant for their partner. Ideas and opinions, in fear of causing a riff within the relationship, are not shared for that very reason. But that’s not the way to live. For example, the topic of moving in with your significant other has been a hot topic in my community. The ideas behind cohabitation sound wonderful, don’t get me wrong. You get to wake up and fall asleep next to them? Breakfast in bed? Never-ending cuddles? Emotional comfort just a couch seat away? Romance? Yes please! But your happiness, your idea of balance, does not need to be ignored or invalidated simply because you put someone else’s emotions or thoughts before your own. I don’t know whom I’m writing this for, but listen. You. Deserve. To. Be. Acknowledged. Period.
If you say something that the love of your life doesn’t agree with, then that’s just what happens. You’re allowed to agree to disagree. But if you voice your opinion on something that makes you uncomfortable and your significant other blows you off or doesn’t even try to understand where you’re coming from, let alone try to fix the problem, then he or she is a scrub and doesn’t deserve you, boo. Say what you have to say and mean it. Everyone deserves to be heard, and everyone deserves a person that will move mountains come hell and high water for the sake of harmony within a relationship. That includes you.