For as long as I can remember, I have easily been emotionally triggered.
Hypersensitivity is a running theme in my life. My pre-teen years were probably some of the most difficult for my parents, and at times, my siblings. Sure, I could try and excuse it as being hormonal, but I can’t use that to justify some of the things I did and said when I, looking back on it now, was experiencing an overload of sensitivity. My sensitivity was expressed through defense mechanisms, silent treatments and most of all, crying.
It always ended in a lot of hurt feelings and crying, whether it showed of not.
At Thanksgiving dinners when I couldn’t take a joke— crying. When I’m trying to make a point during conversation and I feel misunderstood— crying. Trying to express my feelings without looking like I’m overreacting— crying. When a loved one is getting married— crying. When I’m watching a Netflix show and I feel sad for the man who is being made fun of for being a dishwasher— crying.
This isn’t to say that being sensitive means you cry a lot. That may not be the case for everybody. But however you express your sensitivity, it’s probably something you do any time the feeling overwhelms you, and it’s likely that someone has told you each time you do it:
“You’re too sensitive.”
“Are you seriously crying?”
“You’re quiet, what’s wrong?”
“You’re thinking too much into it.”
As if being sensitive is a bad thing.
I feel positive emotions deeply too. I feel intense love for my parents and siblings, become attached to my friends, enjoy hugs and physical attention, and I’m easily touched by moving stories, art or music. I can sense someone’s mood or needs and know how to pull the right groups of people together.
I could probably pay off my student loans if I had a penny (OK, maybe a dollar) for every time one of the aforementioned phrases has been said to me. If you’re at all like me, you might agree; it feels like an insult. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that ultimately, it is anything but.
Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably told you at some point . . . Being emotional and being sensitive are good things. It’s a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize and sensitize yourself to your own situation, and to others’ situations, is a true gift that many people don’t possess; therefore, many people do not understand.
What is so wrong about being able to feel? I mean, really, really feel. Wouldn’t you so much rather be present and aware of your emotions, than be emotionless? Being sensitive means that, in ways more than others, you love harder. You smile bigger, you have a good listening ear, maybe even more understanding. Could you imagine doing or having the opposite of these things? No, not everyone who isn’t sensitive is the total opposite of you, but what a blessing it is that you can do and feel these things to a higher degree!
Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else’s story. Imagine how much richer your life is because you love with every literal beat of your heart.
There may be hundreds of psychological reasons why one person is more sensitive or emotional than the other but they matter none. Your sensitivity toward yourself and others, good or even bad sometimes, is something to be appreciative of. Do not feel guilty for being delicate, over-appreciative or even sad.
There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart and the level of your sensitivity. Try not to listen. Embrace it 100 percent. When there are people on this earth who are manipulative, cold-hearted and villainous, it is not the worst thing to “feel too much” . . .
Think of it as a compliment. Next time someone tries to tell you, “you’re too sensitive,” say, “thank you.”