Let’s face it—we are no longer in high school. Gone are the days of pep rallies, mandatory assemblies, lunch breaks, gym classes, homeroom, and phone calls home when we’d skip class. Not only have the aesthetics changed, but so have we! The pressure to date in high school can be overwhelming and all-consuming. Everyone is so stressed about dating in high school that it became less about trying to find the right person and more about not wanting to feel left out. If you really think about it, dating in high school is utterly absurd. At the time, you were still living under your parents’ rules (and roof), and everytime you wanted to go to the movies you had to rely on your mom or dad for a ride. Now, how romantic does that sound? On the other hand, if you were single in high school, please remember, you were single because you were awesome.
I think we can all admit that a lot has changed since high school—especially the qualities that you look for in a romantic partner, now that you are becoming a fully functioning adult. More specifically, you are starting to value ambition, honesty, maturity, talent, passion, and confidence.
1. Ambition
They know what they want and they go after it. There is nothing sexier than finding someone who is genuinely invested in their dreams and is working hard to achieve them. This must be balanced, however. If someone is too driven toward success, they may not have time for things like relationships, family, or relaxation.
2. Honesty
Honesty in a relationship is so important. Ultimately, you have to be honest with your partner and with yourself. Without honestly you are left with blind trust, and no one wants that. Sometimes you may not want to hear something, but try to remember that your relationship will grow stronger if both parties are open and honest. We are university students. Who has time for games? Plus, drama is exhausting. We don’t get enough sleep for that!
3. Maturity
Yes, we’re young. Yes, we like to have fun. But we are not sixteen anymore! Whether you are 18, 20, 24, or older, we all value maturity at some level. As emerging adults it is incredibly attractive to find someone who is emotionally mature and does not fear commitment. The maturity gene is scarce these days, ladies. So please, promise me, if you find someone who possesses that gene, hold onto that person… or give me his number. Thanks.
4. Talent
Developing talent takes time and a great deal of energy. Now that we’re a little older, appreciating people’s talents is crucial. It helps us to connect and stay inspired. For instance, the ability to cook more than a box of Kraft Dinner is incredibly attractive. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to recognize that women love food. And as we get older, food only becomes more meaningful and influential. Duh.
5. Passion
When we were younger, we often hid our passions out of fear of looking dorky or over zealous. Now, passion is everything. Without passion, life lacks a certain amount of depth. Passion drives you forward and it resides within the essence of every dream. Not only is passion for life incredible, but passion for each other is even better!
6. Confidence
They know who they are, hold strong in their beliefs, and have no uncertainty in their abilities. Confidence is not limited to purely mental and emotional aspects. In fact, confidence in your physicality can be utterly intoxicating. Being comfortable in your body is an extremely attractive quality, which opens the door for another essential quality in a relationship – sex appeal.
Perchance in high school you already sought out such qualities in a partner. If this is the case, you were definitely more self-aware and mature than I was at that age. Good for you! Can we be friends?
But say we maintain the notion that most of us are only beginning to discover our independence, maturity, and self-realization. Part of that ends up meaning we seek out the qualities that reflect what kind of relationship we want, and, consequently, the kind of life we wish to live.